Wer liest meinen Englisch-Text (450 Wör) Korrektur

Hallo Leute.
Es wäre klasse, wenn sich jemand finden würde, der diesen Text einmal korrektur lesen könnte. Mein Englisch ist nicht ganz katastrophal, jedoch habe ich manchmal Schwierigkeiten, die richtige Zeitform zu wählen. Gegebenenfalls (ich gehe eigentlich davon aus) habe ich im Audruck auch nicht alles richtig, da ich doch des öfteren Vokabeln nachgeschlagen habe…
Vielen Dank schon einmal 

For my report I’d like to write something about my work in the Ostbunker in Bremen. This had been my traineeship for the last seven weeks.
Every Monday all colleagues meet each other in the conference room at half past one in the afternoon to talk about the program and about the area of responsibility of every employee for the whole week. By turns Christian, another trainee, and me always had to stay either in the child area which is for kids from six to twelve or in the youth area which can be visited by older teenagers.
When I was assigned to the child area I never knew whether anybody came. On some days this room remained empty. However, mostly three or four children sought. Then we played games like “ludo”, “the mad labyrinth” or “scrabble” together. The twelve year old boy David always wanted to play chess with me. He is a really good chess player and so he often won. But sometimes he made mistakes and I could use my opportunity to win. He had frequently been annoyed when he loosed and grumbled about it. However, I could calm him fast.
Every Thursday there is a possibility for the kids to work and play with the Internet. Many of them don’t have a computer at home, and so most children came in this day called the “Internet-Thursday”. Often they stay in chat rooms or on online-game-sites. But before using every child have to pass the Internet-Licence. Thereby they will be informed about behaviours and dangers on the Internet.
In the youth area computers can be used every day. But here the teenagers have to pay for the time they stay in the internet. Half an hour cost 25 cents. Furthermore the Ostbunker offers them the opportunity of meeting friends, playing billiard, dart or table football. I have often been asked whether I’d like to play with them. Once a week there is there are themes days like “the long Billiard-Friday” or “the long Poker-Day” so that as much as possible kids and teenagers come to the youth centre to play together and encourage the community spirit.
Except the youth and child areas the Ostbunker provides a function room, which can be used for music concerts, parties or a Halloween celebrating for example. On concerts and parties that often carries on into the night, all colleagues including social educating workers, trainees and the person doing community service (Zivildienstleistender) must help to ensure that everything ran smoothly. Sometimes I sold drinks at the refreshment stand at other times I just had to take photos.
All in all I have always had fun in my trainee and learned a lot about dealing with youth. I whish I could stay a while longer.

tried my best…kann jedoch nicht garantieren, dass es fehlerfrei ist.

Every Monday all colleagues met each other in the conference room at half past one in the afternoon to talk about the program and about the responsibilities [or: tasks?] of every employee for the whole week. Christian, another trainee, or I had to turns in staying either in the child area, for kids from six to twelve, or in the youth area for older teenagers.
When I was assigned to the child area I never knew whether anybody would come. On some days this room remained empty. However, at an average three or four children were there, with whom I have played [not sure if correct time] games like “ludo”, “the mad labyrinth” or “scrabble” together. David , a twelve year old boy, always wanted to play chess with me. He is a really good player and so he often won. Sometimes though, he made mistakes that gave me an opportunity to win. He became annoyed frequently when he lost and grumbled about it. However, I could calm him fast.
Every Thursday the kids had the possibility to use the Internet, to work or to play games. Many of them don’t have a computer at home, and so most children came on this day, which was also called the “Internet-Thursday”. Often they stayed in chat rooms or on online-game-sites. But before using every child had to pass the Internet-Licence, which requires general knowledge about the use and the dangers of the internet.
In the youth area computers could be used every day. But here the teenagers had to pay for the time they stayed online. Half an hour cost 25 cents. Furthermore the Ostbunker offers them the opportunity of meeting friends, playing billiard, dart or table football. I have often been asked whether I’d like to play with them. Once a week there were events like “the long Billiard-Friday” or “the long Poker-Day” so that as many kids and teenagers as possible would come to the youth centre to play together and to encourage community spirit.
Aside from the youth and child areas the Ostbunker provides a function room, which can be used for music concerts, parties or a Halloween celebration for example. During concerts and parties that often carried on into the night, all colleagues including social workers, trainees and the people doing community service (Zivildienstleistender) had to help to ensure that everything ran smoothly. Sometimes I sold drinks at the refreshment stand, at other times I just had to take photos.
All in all I have always had fun in my traineeship and learned a lot about dealing with youth. I wish I could have stayed a while longer.

Hi Glani,

Yes, you are right about the tenses, they are not too good in fact almost every one is incorrect. I will do it for you though if you like.

Susan

Hi Susen,

yes, please. That would be a great help :smile:
Many thanks in advance.

Glani

Hallo Leute.
Es wäre klasse, wenn sich jemand finden würde, der diesen Text
einmal korrektur lesen könnte. Mein Englisch ist nicht ganz
katastrophal, jedoch habe ich manchmal Schwierigkeiten, die
richtige Zeitform zu wählen. Gegebenenfalls (ich gehe
eigentlich davon aus) habe ich im Audruck auch nicht alles
richtig, da ich doch des öfteren Vokabeln nachgeschlagen
habe…
Vielen Dank schon einmal 

For my report I’d like to write something about my work in the
Ostbunker in Bremen. This has been my traineeship for the last
seven weeks.
Every Monday all colleagues meet each other in the conference
room at half past one in the afternoon to talk about the
program and about the area of responsibility of every employee
for the whole week. By turns Christian, another trainee, and
I always had to stay either in the child area which is for
kids from six to twelve or in the youth area which can be
visited by older teenagers.
When I was assigned to the child area I never knew whether
anybody would come. On some days this room remained empty. However,
mostly three or four children sought us out. Then we played games
like “Ludo”, “The Mad Labyrinth” or “Scrabble” together. The
twelve year old boy David always wanted to play chess with me.
He is a really good chess player and so he often won. But
sometimes he made mistakes and I could make use of the opportunity to
win. He was frequently annoyed when he lost and
grumbled about it. However, I was able to calm him quickly.
Every Thursday there is a possibility for the kids to work and
play in the Internet. Many of them don’t have a computer at
home, and so most children came on this day called the
“Internet-Thursday”. Often they stayed in chat rooms or on
online-game sites. But before using the Internet every child had to pass
the Internet Licence. This trainiing infofrms them about
behaviour in and the dangers of the Internet.
In the youth area computers can be used every day. But there
the teenagers have to pay for the time they stay in the
internet. Half an hour costs 25 cents. Furthermore the
Ostbunker offers them the opportunity of meeting friends,
playing billiards, darts or table football. I was often
asked whether I’d like to play with them. Once a week
there are themed days like “The Long Billiards Friday” or “The
Long Poker Day” so that as many kids and teenagers
as possible come to the youth centre to play together and encourage the
community spirit.
Besides the youth and child areas the Ostbunker provides a
function room, which can be used for concerts, parties
or a Halloween celebration for example. At concerts and
parties that often carry on into the night, all colleagues
including social education workers, trainees and the person
doing community service (Zivildienstleistender) must
help to ensure that everything runs smoothly. Sometimes I sold
drinks at the refreshment stand; at other times I just had to
take photos.
All in all I always had fun in my traineeship and learned a
lot about dealing with young people. I wish I could stay a while
longer.

I have made the corrections to the text. It still jumps round a bit from present simple to past simple but is better than before.

Sueg

Hallo, glani!
Es gibt sicherlich bei wer-weiß-was native speakers, die das besser können.
Wenn das eine benotete arbeit wird, dann wäre das sicher besser. Für ein Bewerbungsschreiben im englischsprachigen Raum wäre mein Rat allerdings : bleib ehrlich! Die Engländer verzeihen so gut wie jeden Schnitzer, und verständlich machen kannst Du Dich auf jeden Fall. Das reicht völlig.
LG wajoka

Hallo, wojaka!

Vielen Dank für deinen Rat.
Ich mache eine schulische Ausbildung, die auch Praxisblöcke beinhaltet. Über solch eine Praxiphase muss ich eine Ausarbeitung auf englisch schreiben, welche benotet wird.

lg, glani