Englisch Hilfe Denzentrale Prüfung Mündlich

Mein englisch ist LEIDER nicht perfekt und ich hab niemanden der mir helfen kann deswegen wollt ich hier fragen
hier mein vortrag

Dear Mr.** and Ms.** i will tell something about myself
My name is ** i am 15 years old , I was born in ** on ** January
I have no brothers or sisters , my family is from turkey / capital city Ankara
We live 3 years in Stuttgart then we move to **
my father work as car salesman and my mother is housewife
My hobbies are Football I start with 7 years at TSV ** 2 years ago my father became trainer.
2 Years i play , then the co trainer stopp my father had not enough time the team has dissolved
then i left to *** I have only played 1 month because i have problems at home
then i left to ** my first Match was vs ** we won 4:3 I had two goals score
i have play 3 years * and my father sponsor the team . because of knee problems I have stopped play footbal
My other hobby is go out with friends , and play table tennis

I will talk about my Summer Holidays
Every Year we are flying to Turkey and Italia
1 week we stay in our house in The Capital City of turkey Ankara
1 week I stay with my grandparents in Izmit
and 2 weeks italia because our boutique

when I’m finished with school I open my own boutique in Pfortzheim the Golden city of Germany

könnt ihr mir tipps geben wie ich es verbessern kann ?

Danke für deine Anfrage.Ich füge hierunter meine Korrekturvorschläge hinzu. Falls du weitere Fragen hast, bist du herzlich eingeladen, mir nochmals zuzuschreiben. Wie ich schon bemerkt habe, sind die Angaben von den Monaten und Jahren deines Fußballspiels und deines Alters ein bisschen unlogisch, und was du zu sagen wünschst, ist unklar.

Beste Grüße.
Sven Jahnsen, Studienrat.

Na ich will mal hoffen, dass das nicht unter „Hausaufgaben - Erledigung“ fällt…ohne Garantie auf Perfektion, da einige Stellen vom Sinnzusammenhang schwer erschließbar sind:

Dear Mr. and Ms. (ich würde hier Mrs schreiben, da Ms impliziert, dass man nicht weiß, ob die Frau verheiratet ist)
I will tell you something about myself.
My name is * and I am 15 years old , I was born in * on January * (würde ich so umdrehen, z.B. January 15)
I have no brothers or sisters, my family is from Ankara, which is the capital city of Turkey.
We have been living in Stuttgart for 3 years, then we moved to *
My father works as a car salesman and my mother is a housewife.
My hobby is playing Football. I started at the age of 7 at TSV **, of which my father became trainer 2 years ago.
I was playing there for 2 years, then the training stopped as my father had not enough time. Accordingly, the team has dissolved.
Then I left to *, where I have only played 1 month because I had problems at home.
After that I went to * and there had my first match. It was vs * and we won 4:3. I scored two goals.
Now I have been playing for 3 years at * and my father is sponsoring the team. Unfortunately I had to stop playing football because of knee problems.
My other hobbies are to go out with friends , and to play table tennis.

Now I want to talk about my Summer Holidays:
Every year we are flying to Turkey and Italia
There we are staying for 1 week in our house in Ankara, the capital of Turkey.
For another week I stay with my grandparents in Izmit
and 2 more weeks in Italia because of our boutique there.

When I’m finished with school, I am going to open my own boutique in Pfortzheim the Golden city of Germany.

Für eine Prüfung: Unbedingt Zeiten und grammatische Formen wie das „Gerund“ noch einmal ansehen…

greets,
Solanum

Dear Mr.** and Ms.**

I would like to introduce myself.

My name is ** and I am 15 years old. On ** January I was born in ** as the only child of my parents.

We are a Turkish family. The capital city of Turkey is Ankara.

After living three years in Stuttgart we moved to **

My father works as a car salesman and my mother takes care for the household.

In leisure time I am playing football. When I was seven I started at TSV***. My father is the coach there since 2009. After two years playing football in this club an additional coach stopped his job and my father had not enough available capacity to continue. So the team dissolved.

Afterward I changed to ***. Due to problems at home I had only played one month in this team.
Then I joined the ***
My first match was versus **. We won 4:3 and I achieved two goals in this game.
At *** I have been three years in total and my father sponsored the team…

Because of knee problems I had to stop playing football.

So I spend time in going out with friends and playing table tennisl

Now I want to talk about my summer holidays.
Every year we are flying to Turkey and Italia.
One week we stay in our house in Ankara, one week we visit my grandparents in Izmit
and two weeks we are in Italia, where we have an own boutique.

When I’m finished with school I plan to open my own boutique in Pfortzheim, the Golden City of Germany.