Könnte bitte jemand die englische Grammatik im Text überprüfen?

The subway, the tunnel of crime

Kids and adolescents, armed with knifes and weapons, threaten poor people with less money. They don’t go to school and stay in subways and in dark dangerous guetos. The threatened people work hard for money. A person like this is Eddie Gruber, too. He is a 62-year-old saniter and live in Bronx. He was threatened on January 21st at about 5:15 p.m. on the subway as the train was pulling into 42nd street station. His life was endangered just because of 25 Dollar. He can not believe that the sensationalist storys of the news are the real life. Now, he is shocked. A witness, Amy Kennedy, has seen this gruel act of crime. The adolescent was white-skined and had a giant and dangerous knife, she said. She had seen a second boy in the background, too. He was armed with a weapon to support the other boy. She don’t know, what she should do. She was scared and had fear about her life. The assailant was not catched and is somewere outside. Day by day, someone will be attack, but there is no happy end, mostly. The adolescents will be more unscrupulous and more fearless. If it is possible don’t go by subway alone! You can also be a victim.

Meine Verbesserungsvorschläge:

  • knives
  • people work hard for THEIR money
  • Nicht „a person like this“ sondern „One of them…“
  • das ‚too‘ in diesem Satz weglassen
  • was ist ein ‚saniter‘?
  • liveS in Bron
  • On January 21st at about 5:15 pm he was threatened…
  • threatened FOR $25.
  • cannot
  • are reality (nicht real life)
  • Amy Kennedy, saw this act of crime
  • white skinned
  • She saw a second boy in the background (ohne too)
  • weapon in order to support…
  • She doesn’t know what to do
  • … and feared for her life
  • was not caught and is at large (not somewhere outside)
  • Every day, someone is attacked but there is no happy ending, for the most part
  • will become … and fearless (ohne zweites more)
  • If possible, don’t go on the subway by yourself
  • You could be a victim next.

Wenn Du noch weitere Fragen hast stehe ich gern zur Verfügung!

Sielke

Vielen Dank für die Übérprüfung. Sie habenmir sehr weitergeholfen. Lieben Gruß Anne