Marriage Definitions
Von: , Frage gestellt am Fr, 6. Okt 2006
Marriage Definitions
BACHELOR:
1) A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make
some woman miserable.
2) A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.
3) A man who never makes the same mistake once.
4) A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of
her alimony.
5) A person who believes in life, liberty, and the
happiness of pursuit.
6) The only man who has never told his wife a lie.
_
BRIDE: mMm _[_]_
A woman with a fine prospect /(_)\ (_)
of happiness behind her. //)^(\\//:\\
/(/&@&\)\|~|/
CAD: / /-~`~-\ |||
A man who doesn't tell his wife `/ \|||
that he's sterile until she's `--------'-'--
pregnant.
COMPROMISE:
An amiable arrangement between husband and wife
whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
DIPLOMAT:
A man who can convince his wife she would look
fat in a fur coat.
GENTLEMAN:
1) A husband who steadies the stepladder so that
his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.
2) A man who, when his wife drops her knitting, kicks
it over to her so that she can easily pick it up.
HOUSEWORK:
What the wife does that nobody notices until she
doesn't do it.
(\/)
\/ (\/) HUSBAND:
/))))))))) \/ 1) A man who gives up
//) __ __\ ,%%%%%%%%%, privileges he never
C==/_o|^|o_\ ,%%%%%%%%%%%%, realized he had.
| _\ ) %/_ _%%%%%%% 2) A person who is
\ '---'/ /_o|^|o_\=?%%% the boss of his
_/`-. __.'_ ( /_ @%%, house and has his
\ \'====' /%%% wife's permission
jgs _'-----' \%%%" to say so.
/ `
JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT:
A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the
husband to the draw.
LOVE:
An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
MISS:
A title with which we brand unmarried women to
indicate that they are in the market.
MISTRESS:
Something between a mister and a mattress.
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace
of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
MRS.:
A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings,
and no recognition.
_ _
SPOUSE: /-\ /-\
Someone who will stand by you through \_/ )\_/(
all the trouble you wouldn't have had /\Y/\ /\_/\
if you'd stayed single in the first || : |\ /(_ _)|
place. || : |\\//`)_(||
(|---| \/ / \)
WIFE: | | | |___|
A mate who is forever complaining | | | |||
about not having anything to wear at |_|_| |||
the very same time that she complains (/ \) (/ \)
about not having enough room in the closet.
--
http://www.kreuzretter.de
A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away.
A 'great'landing is one after which they can use the plane again.