Korrektur meines Letters of Motivation

Hallo Community,

ich wäre euch wirklich sehr dankbar, wenn ihr euch etwas Zeit nehmen würdet, um meinen Letter of Motivation Korrektur zu lesen!
Vielen Dank schon mal im Voraus :smile:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I hereby which to express my interest in a place in the Bachelor of Science program in XXXX.

My curiosity for economic issues arose when I finished secondary school and had to decide, in which field my future job would be. I chose to switch to an economic orientated school in XXXXX in order to get to know this faculty before starting a job in this branch or studying it.
I have never been disappointed, after a rather boring start it became very interesting learning something about business administration and economics because it gave me a new perspective in economic themes.

My second large interest are languages, meeting new people and visiting new places around the world, which is why I chose to work as an Au pair after graduating in June. Currently I am attending the XXXX, where I decided to participate in the bilingual business studies, English and German as majors.
Besides speaking English fluently I know the basics of French based on my four years of attending a French class.

With the knowledge that I wanted to combine those two interest of mine, there was still the big question of what I am going to do after my graduation. One day I met a girl who just graduated from your school and was absolutely happy with your program in XXXXX and after doing some research and visiting your campus in December 2012 I was absolutely sure of my future plans because what the XXXXX offers combines my two biggest passions.

In consideration of my future career I intend to achieve the Bachelor of Science. It is my aim to work in an international orientated company.
There are three specific reasons why I prefer the XXXX in comparison to others. First, your university offers the perfect combination of theory and practice. Second, I want to receive my degree at a high-quality leading German University within the scope of XXXXX. Last but not least, the international character of your program really appeals to me. I am excited about the multinational students and looking forward to the internship which I hope to participate in a foreign country.

Due to the fact that I am very motivated and my previous knowledge of economics I am confident to master this program.

Thank you for considering my application.

Sorry, mein Englisch ist nicht so gut, dass ich Dir hier weiterhelfen könnte! :wink:

Dear Sirs:

Hereby, I wish to express my interest in gaining a place in the Bachelor of Science Program in XXXX.

My curiosity for economic issues arose when I finished secondary school and I had to decide, in which field my future job would be. I chose to switch to an economic-orientated school in XXXXX in order to get to know this faculty before starting a job in this branch or studying it. I have never been disappointed, after a rather boring start it became very interesting to learn something about business administration and economics because it gave me a new perspective in economic themes.

My second large interest is learning languages, meeting new people and visiting new places around the world, which is why I chose to work as an au pair after graduating in June. Currently, I am attending the XXXX, where I decided to participate in the bilingual business studies, English and German as majors. Besides speaking English fluently, I know the basics of French based on my four years of attending a French class.

With the knowledge that I wanted to combine those two interests of mine, there was still the big question of what I am going to do after my graduation. One day, I met a girl who just graduated from your school and was absolutely happy with your program in XXXXX, and after doing some research and visiting your campus in December 2012, I was absolutely sure of my future plans because what the XXXXX offers, combines my two biggest passions.

In consideration of my future career, I intend to achieve the Bachelor of Science. It is my aim to work in an international-orientated company. There are three specific reasons why I prefer the XXXX in comparison to others. Firstly, your university offers the perfect combination of theory and practice. Secondly, I want to receive my degree at a high-quality leading German university within the scope of XXXXX. Last but not least, the international character of your program really appeals to me. I am excited about the multinational students and look forward to the internship in which I hope to participate in a foreign country.

Due to the fact, that I am very motivated and in view of my previous knowledge of economics, I am confident to master this program.

Thank you for considering my application.

Beste Grüße und viel Erfolg
von der Fee für alle Fälle