Essay in Englisch über mixed-race

Ich muss in Englisch ein Essay schreiben und ich möchte diesmal etwas wirklich gutes vorlesen, aber es soll jetzt nicht zu professionell rüberkommen, aber sehr gut.

Die Aufgabenstellung lautet:
You are going to write an essay discussing the statement: ''A completely mixed-race population would make a better society than separate ethnic groups. Think about the effect a mixed-race poulation could have ob issues like:

  • integration
  • peoples sense of identity
  • racial discrimination
  • how people are judged
  • local communities
  • individual cultures

Ich hoffe ihr könnt mir auf irgendeine Weise helfen, denn ich komm gar nicht vor ran bzw ich weiß nicht mal ob das ein essay ist und die aufgabenstellung erfüllt. zudem fehlen mir glaube ich pro und contras

As of late, you hear about mixed-race more and more often. This essay discusses the question if a completely mixed-race population would make a better society than seperate ethnic groups.
Ist das was ich bisher geschrieben habe überhaupt ein essay bzw erfüllt es die aufgabe?
As of late, you hear about mixed-race more and more often. This essay discusses the question if a completely mixed-race population would make a better society than seperate ethnic groups. Definetly relieves racism and brings understanding between different people. It also lets people firsthand explore other cultures or ideologies. But some aspects of the original culture are destroyed. Even if two people agree, there will be some aspects of their original cultures lost. For instance, if an Aryan and a hispanic mix, the children will not have full aspects of both cultures, rather they will inherit only certain aspects of the original cultures. I feel this will destroy diversity of people of Earth, and destroy the beautiful cultures on earth. But it is very astonishingly how people can integrate, but for some of them it could be very difficult, like to learn a new language. The problem is that as is often the case that the people without immigration backrounds judge the mixed-race people, because they are different by have maybe a different colour. But I don’t believe it relieves racism, after all, even if all people in the world mixed together, you would still have people that look white, black, asian, etc. just because one group of people mixes with another, doesn’t necessarily mean that their children will look „mixed“. As far as the cons go, cultures always come and go, new cultures replace them, and they will be diverse, they may share similar aspects but then again all cultures do but just because racial mixing may destroy one culture, doesn’t mean that the diversity will be destroyed, I believe that is impossible.

Hallo, ich habe gerade ganz wenig Zeit, aber hier ein paar Tipps.
Du verwendest „but“ viel zu oft. Suche nach Synonymen (Internet, einsprachiges Wörterbuch).

Mit dem letzten Satz
„but just because racial mixing may destroy one culture, doesn’t mean that the diversity will be destroyed, I believe that is impossible.“
widersprichst du diesem: „I feel this will destroy diversity of people of Earth, and destroy the beautiful cultures on earth.“

Definetly relieves racism and brings understanding between different people. - In dem Satz fehlt was („It“ am Anfang?)

it is very astonishing (not astonishingly)

Der letzte Satz ist so lang und verwirrend, dass man am Ende nicht mehr versteht, was du eigentlich mit ihm sagen willst…

Das war’s, was ich dir sagen kann…

LG

Hallo fuglyliar,
ich kann Dir derzeit nicht helfen, da ich krank bin.

Viele Grüße