Korrektur Referat

Hallo, ich muss übernächtse Woche ein wichtiges Referat auf Englisch halten (Eurokom). Da ich in Englisch nicht so gut bin, würde ich mich freuen, wenn ihr mir mein fertiges Referat korrigieren könntet.
Mein Referat geht über Scientology. Wenn es irgendetwas gibt,was noch rein muss oder zuviel ist,sagt es mir bitte.Das Referat darf aber die Zeit von 5 Minuten nicht überschreiten. Schaut aber hauptsächlich auf Satzformulierungen und Grammatik.
Vielen Dank für die Hilfe schon im Vorraus.

Mein Referat:

Textübersetzung auf Englisch

Choice of name:
The name Scientology comes from the latin verb scire that means knowledge/science and the greek word logo that means word/speech. It is translated by Scientology with “ knowledge about the knowledge”

History:
In 1950 L .Ron Hubbard developed in his book “Dianetics” a system of the psycho techniques that he put in 1952 to a philosophy of life with religious claim.
Between 1950 and 1954 Hubbard apprenticeship (teaching) existed a row of groupings moved. In 1953 Hubbard put down the "Church of Scientology of California“as a brand name put down and the first branch based in February, 1954.

In the following time he extended his system again around cosmological and metaphysical elements. At the same moment he formed the organization more hierarchically. Till 1967 Hubbards Church of Scientology could farther expand and extended near the USA also in the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa.

In following century Scientology expanded less. Scientology tried to assert itself in Scandinavia, Germany and the Benelux governments. Hubbards guidance style became more hierarchically. Because some thought that Hubbard guidance style too magisterially was, some lined up between 1982 and 1984 from Scientology. They created the „free zone. “
After Hubbards death in 1986 David Miscavige took over the guidance of the organization.

(Member):
The most members Scientology recruted are married office workers with an good education. The relation of man and women is 3:2
You can’t say directly how many members Scientology has. Scientology spoke in 2005 from over 10 million supporters(members). These also contain people (persons) who visited a course without continuing. Serious sources go out from 100.000 members. Most Scientologists come from the USA-(2004) 55.000 US inhabitants(0.018% of the whole population).

In Germany Scientology number their members at 12.000. State sources count 5000-7000.
However, Hungary has approximately 5000 supporters in spite of his low population density.
In the USA there are still other main branches in Italy, UK, Russia, France, (Germany), Mexico and Switzerland.

My In my opinion everyone should decide whether he liked to be a member of Scientology or not. Certainly, I think some reasons for the fact gives that Scientology is a sect, but I also think that they are not dangerous. If one has psychologicallystruck, however, one should keep away from them, because it is very easy for they to manipulate a person an d so you lost a lot of your money in their cources.

Hallo, ich muss übernächtse Woche ein wichtiges Referat auf
Englisch halten (Eurokom). Da ich in Englisch nicht so gut
bin, würde ich mich freuen, wenn ihr mir mein fertiges Referat
korrigieren könntet.
Mein Referat geht über Scientology. Wenn es irgendetwas
gibt,was noch rein muss oder zuviel ist,sagt es mir bitte.Das
Referat darf aber die Zeit von 5 Minuten nicht überschreiten.
Schaut aber hauptsächlich auf Satzformulierungen und
Grammatik.
Vielen Dank für die Hilfe schon im Vorraus.

hallo schneckle,
also,

  1. Zur englischen Sprache
    Bei nem Vortrag solltest du kürzere Sätze verwenden - das ist im Englischen sowieso üblich, vor allem aber beim Sprechen.

AUSSPRACHE-FALLEN! organisation, hierarchy, philosophy, psychology, apprenticeship, technique, cosmological, metaphysical elements, expand, decade, dominating, guidance, Hungary, population density, psychological, manipulate.
Hör dir die Wörter auf LEO an oder über mit jemandem.

  1. Zur Dauer
    In dieser Form wird der Vortrag keine 5 Minuten dauern, denke ich - oder bringst Du Medien ein, Statistiken oder ähnliches?

3.Zum Inhalt

  1. Sollst du a)INFORMIEREN ODER b)WERTEN? oder c)BEIDES?
  2. Warum sollst du überhaupt zu diesem Thema sprechen?
  3. Warum hat Scientology Erfolg?
  4. Welche Summen muss man für die sogenannten „Kurse“ bezahlen? Ist das seriös?

Falls 1. a: letzten Absatz weglassen: In my opinion…
Falls 1. b: wieso sind sie nicht gefährlich, wenn sie Leute manipulieren??? Würde ich an deiner Stelle noch mal drüber nachdenken (siehe DIE WELLE etc.). Außerdem sind dort nicht nur Menschen drin, die „psychich instabil“ sind.
Aber ich will hier nicht meine meinung über S. schreiben, das würde ziemlich vernichtend ausfallen.

Falls Du noch Fragen hast, melde dich mal. Ansonsten würde ich gern wissen, ob Du Erfolg hattest :smile:

gruß, S.

Why the name was chosen:

The name Scientology has two parts. The first part comes from the latin verb scire. Scire means knowledge/science. (It is also the basis of the word „Science“.)And the second part comes from the greek word logo that means word/speech. It is translated by Scientology with “ knowledge about the knowledge”

History of the organisation:

In 1950 L .Ron Hubbard published his book “Dianetics” . In this book, he developed a system of the psycho techniques —WHAT IS THAT?—
On that basis, he created a philosophy of life that also had a religious claim.
Between 1950 and 1954 Hubbard made an apprenticeship in teachin and found out how… existed a row of groupings moved. (???)
Then, in 1953, Hubbard put down the "Church of Scientology of California“ as a brand name. He also
opened the first branch of the organisation in February, 1954.

In the following time he extended his system again , this time he included cosmological and metaphysical elements. At the same time, he formed the organization more hierarchically. Till 1967, Hubbards Church of Scientology could expand further. New branches were opened in the USA and also in the United Kingdom, Australia,New Zealand and South Africa.

In following decade Scientology expanded less. Scientology tried to assert itself in Scandinavia, Germany and the Benelux states. The leader, Hubbard, became more and more dominating, the hierarchy was very strict. Because some thought that Hubbard’s guidance style was too magisterially, some members created a group within the organisation. They called it the „free zone. “After Hubbards death in 1986 David Miscavige took over the leadership of the organization.

Members

Most members are married office workers with a good education. The relation of men and women is 3:2
You can’t say directly how many members Scientology has. BECAUSE???
In 2005, Scientology spoke of over 10 million supporters. This number also includes people who
attended a course without continuing. Serious sources assume about 100.000 members. Most Scientologists come from the USA -(2004) 55.000 US inhabitants.

In Germany Scientology number their members at 12.000. State sources count 5000 to 7000.
Hungary has approximately 5000 supporters in spite of its low population density. SO? WHY IS THAT INTERESTING?
There are still other main branches in Italy, UK, Russia, France, Mexico and Switzerland.

In my opinion everyone should decide whether he likes to be a member of Scientology or not. Certainly, there are some reasons for the fact that Scientology is a sect, but I also think that they are not dangerous. If one has psychological problems, however, one should keep away from them, because it is very easy for they to manipulate a person. And so you lose a lot of your money in their courses.

Liebe Schneckle,

ich habe einiges verbessert, einiges nicht verstanden. Ich will ehrlich sein, denn du willst ja Rat: was wirklich interesssant ist an Scientology sprichst du nicht an: sie sind in Deutschland als gefährlich verboten. Warum? Was lehren sie? Was lehren sie auf den Kursen? Was fasziniert die Menschen daran? Ich kenne einen Menschen, der sich bei Lidel bewarb und dem gesagt wurde, er müsse Scientologist werden, sonst könne er diese Stelle nicht bekommen…
Ich verreise in 2 Tagen für 2 Monate und kann mich nicht weiter um dein Referat kümmern. Aber ein bisschen wollte ich doch beitragen.

The etymology of “scientology“
Scientology comes from the Latin verb scire , to know , and the 'Greek word logo , word/speech. It thus means “ to know about knowledge”

History of the sect:
In 1950 L .Ron Hubbard developed in his book “Dianetics” a system of psycho techniques which in 1952 he changed into a philosophy of life with religious claims.
Between 1950 and 1954 Hubbard apprenticeship (teaching) existed a row groupingsChoice of name: SONICHT ZU VERSTEHEN

In 1953 Hubbard put down the "Church of Scientology of California“as a brand name and FOUNDED THE FIRST CHURCH IN fEBRUARY 1959

In the following years WANN? he added cosmological and metaphysical elements. At the same time he made the organization more hierarchical. By 1967 Hubbard’s Church of Scientology had further expanded in the USA and had also reached the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa.

Later on Scientology tried to assert itself in Scandinavia, Germany and the Benelux.But Hubbard’s style of management became more hierarchical. As some members thought that Hubbard’s style was too magisterial , they left the church between 1982 and 1984 They created the “free zone. “ERKLÄREN
After Hubbard’s death in 1986 David Miscavige took over the leadership of the organization.

Members
Most members are married office workers with a good education. The relation of men to women is 3:2
It is not known how many members Scientology has. In 2005 Scientology claimed over 10 million members. These also include people who attended a course without continuing. RELIABLE SOURCES TALK ABOUT 100000. Most Scientologists come from the USA-(2004) 55.000 US inhabitants(0.018% of the whole population).
DIE ZAHL IST VIEL ZU ALT

In Germany Scientologists claim 12000 members . Officially it is 5000-7000.
However, Hungary has approximately 5000 supporters in spite of its low population.
There are many members in Italy, UK, Russia, France, (Germany), Mexico and Switzerland.

In my opinion everyone should decide whether he would like to be a member of Scientology or not. Certainly, I think some reasons for the fact gives thatNICHT ZU VERSTEHEN Scientology is a sect, but I also think that they are not dangerous. If one is mentally unbalanced, however, one should keep away from them, because it is very easy for theM to manipulate a person an d so you CAN LOSE a lot of your money on their courses.

Gruß
Amei

Vielen Dank für deine Antworten, ich weiß das es noch nenügend sachen gibt, die man noch hinzufügen kann. Das ist jedoch mit meiner Lehrerin so abgesprochen auch das ich speziell was zu My opinion sagen soll. Wenn ich alles wichtige reinbringen würde, würde mein Referat ja viel länger als 5 Minuten dauern Trotzdem nochmals vielen Dank für die Korrektur. Werde mir deine Tipps zu Herzen nehmen und sie korrigieren(meine Fehler).
Liebe Grüße
schneckle