Produkt Hinweise

Von: , Frage gestellt am Sa, 27. Jan 2001

. Auf einem Fön von Sears: Nicht während des Schlafes benutzen.
[Mist, das ist die einzige Gelegenheit, wo ich Zeit hätte, mir die Haare zu machen]

2. Auf einer Tüte Fritos (Chips): Sie könnten schon gewonnenhaben! Kein Kauf nötig! Details innenliegend.
[Anscheinend das Spezialangebot für Ladendiebe]

3. Auf einem Stück Seifen der Firma Dial: Anleitung: Wie normale Seife benutzen.
Und wie geht das...?]

4. Auf Tiefkühlkost von Swansons: Serviervorschlag: Auftauen.
[Aber das ist nur ein Vorschlag]

5. Auf Tiramisu von Tesco´s (auf die Unterseite aufgedruckt): Nicht umdrehen.
[Hoppla, schon zu spät!]

6. Auf einem Bread-Pudding von Marks & Spencer: Das Produkt ist nach dem Kochen heiß.
[Ist nicht wahr??!! Echt?!]

7. Auf der Verpackung eines Rowenta-Bügeleisens: Die Kleidung nicht während des Tragens bügeln.
[Aber das hätte doch noch mehr Zeit gespart?]

8. Auf Boot´s Hustenmedizin für Kinder: Nach der Einnahme dieser Medizin nicht autofahren oder Maschinen bedienen.
[Wir könnten viel für die Vermeidung von Arbeitsunfällen tun, wenn wir nur diese erkälteten 5jährigen Kinder von den Gabelstaplern wegbrächten]

9. Auf Nytol Schlafmittel: Achtung: Kann Müdigkeit verursachen
[nichts anderes haben wir gehofft]

10. Auf den meisten Weihnachtslichterketten: Für innen und aussen.
[und wo nicht?]

11. Auf einer japanischen Küchenmaschine: Nicht für die anderen Benutzungen zu benutzen.
[Zugegebenermaßen, jetzt sind wir neugierig].

12. Auf Nüssen von Sainsbury´s: Achtung: enthält Nüsse.
[BLITZNACHRICHT!!!]

13. Auf einer Packung Nüsse von American Airlines: Anleitung: Packung öffnen, Nüsse essen.
[Schritt 3: Mit Swissair fliegen]

14. Auf einem Superman-Kostüm für Kinder: Das Tragen dieses Kleidungsstücks ermöglicht es nicht, zu fliegen.
[Hier ist nicht die Firma schuld, sondern die Eltern!!!]

3 Antworten zu dieser Frage

  1. Antwort von nach 33 Minuten hilfreich
    Wirklich korrekte Produtkwarnungen

    leider hab ich grad keine Zeit zum "Ubersetzen. Aber nett sind sie trotzdem:
    (geklaut von http://paul.merton.ox.ac.uk/science/warnings.html)

    WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.

    WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force
    Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.

    CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.

    HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five
    Hundred Million Miles Per Hour.

    CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely
    Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.

    ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Know as "Tunneling," This Product May Spontaneously
    Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer
    Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.

    READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to Certain Suggested Versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles
    Constituting this Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.

    THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic
    Explosion Will Result.

    PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in
    the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the
    Universe.

    NOTE: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a "Gluing" Force About Which Little is Currently Known and
    Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.

    ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists
    Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.

    NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-
    Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to
    Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are "Rolled Up" into Such a Small "Area" That They Cannot Be Detected.

    PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to
    Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.

    COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same
    in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be
    Expressed or Implied.

    HEALTH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity
    Relative to the User.

    IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an
    Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be
    Guaranteed.


    ach ja:
    und die haben geklaut von:
    The above is from Volume 36, Number 1 of The Journal of Irreproducible Results.
    Copyright 1991 Blackwell Scientific Publications Inc.
    3 Cambridge Center, Cambridge MA 02141

    • Antwort von nach 35 Minuten hilfreich
      Re: Wirklich korrekte Produtkwarnungen

      kennt ihr eigentlich schon http://www.rinkworks.com? da kann man auch Stunden verbringen....

      die haben auch noch welche ;-)

      Product Warnings:

      "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

      "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

      "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

      "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

      "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.

      "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

      "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.

      "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

      "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

      "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.

      "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.

      "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.

      "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

      "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

      "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.

      "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

      "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.

      "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.

      "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.

      "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.

      "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

      "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.

      "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.

      "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

      "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.

      "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.

      "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

      "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.

      "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

      "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.

      "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.

      "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

      "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

      "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.

      "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

      "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.

      "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.

      "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.

      "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

      "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television
      advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.

      "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

      "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.

      "Warning: May contain nuts." - On a package of peanuts.

      "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.

      "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one
      would assume were handholds.

      "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

      "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.

      "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

      "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

      "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.

      "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.

      "Please remove before driving." -- On the back of a cardboard windshield (for keeping the car from getting too hot when parked).

      "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

      "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.

      "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.

      "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.

      "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.



      Small Print From Commercials:

      "Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.

      "Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.

      "Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert.

      "For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.



      Signs and Notices:

      "No stopping or standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere.

      "Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950.

      "These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church.

      "All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.

      "Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine.

      "Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone." -- On a form in a clinic.

      "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos.

      "Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided shower cap box.

      "Payment is due by the due date." -- On a credit card statement.



      Safety Procedures:

      "Take care: new non-slip surface." -- On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building.

      "In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer
      camp.



      Ingredients:

      "Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment
      agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.

      "100% pure yarn." -- On a sweater.



      Instructions:

      "Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the
      plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch.

      "Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.

      "Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11.

      "Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap.

      "Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper.

      "Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner.

      "Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits.

      "In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual.

      "Please include the proper portion of your bill." -- On the envelope for an auto insurance bill.



      Requirements:

      "Optional modem required." -- On a computer software package.

      • Antwort von nach 2 Stunden hilfreich
        Re^2: Sternchen ;-) für den link (o.T.)

        .

Keine passende Antwort gefunden? Jetzt eigene Frage stellen!