Darwin Awards 2001

Hallo,

jedes Jahr wird in Amerika, dem Land der unbegrenzten Möglichkeiten der sogenannte Darwin Award verliehen. Dieser wird für sagen wir mal die peinlichsten Methoden des plötzlichen Ablebens vergeben.
Hier also die diesjährigen 5 Gewinner (Text in englisch belassen):

2001 DARWIN AWARD WINNERS



5th RUNNER-UP

Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad. The
22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth Hospital. The
accident occurred about 3a.m.,the Mono County Sheriff's department said.

Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the
Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and
Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with its pad removed.

4th RUNNER-UP

Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it
into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it
had choked him to death.

3rd RUNNER-UP

Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

2nd RUNNER-UP "Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who used the .22 bullet
to replace the fuse in his truck. This person placed a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry
Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a
battery and was trying to explode it." "It wouldn't go off and this guy said "I'll show you how to set it off." He put it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth
out and his lips and tongue off, Payne said.

Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical Division."I just can't
imagine anyone doing something like that," Payne said.

1st RUNNER-UP

Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon from the hospital.
Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an
initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to
shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimetre to the left, a major blood vessel would
have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly.

Neurosurgeon Doctor Johnny Delashaw at the university Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding at the rear
of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that hadRoberts tried to pull the arrow
out on his own he surely would have killed himself.

Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No charges have been filed, but the
Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under investigation.

Now THIS YEAR'S WINNER

(The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George
Washington amphitheatre. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into
the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100-pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence
and then assist his friend over.

Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved
himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts.
Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall , he removed his
pocket knife and proceeded
to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into the holly bushes below. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and
now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, on landing, his pocket knife penetrated his thigh. Mr.
Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope and pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away.
However, in his drunken
haste/state, he put the truck intoreverse and crashed through the fence, down the 30 foot drop and landed on his friend, killing him instantly.

Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck,
they found John under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a treebranch 25-feet in the air.
Congratulations gentlemen, you win...