Two Italian men get on a bus. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
„Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come togedder.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come togedder again.
I come again and pee twice.
Den I come one lasta time.“
"You foul-mouthed swine, "retorted the lady indignantly. „In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!“
"Hey, coola down lady, "said the man. "Who talkin bouta sexa? Ima justa tellun my friend how to spell „Mississippi“.
Ein Italiener in London…
To the manager
Y.M.C.A Hotel Roma
LONDON
Dear Signore Direttore,
Now I am tella you story wot I was a-treated at your hotella.
I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a younga christian man at your hotella. When I comma in my room, I see there is no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? So I calla down to receptione and tella.
„I wanta shit.“
They tella me: „Go to toilet.“
I say: „No, I wanta shit in my bed.“
They say: „You better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch!“
What is sonna-wa-bitch?
Next morning I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and two pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and point at toast: „I wanta two piss.“
She tella me: „Go to toilet.“
I say: „No, I wanta piss on my plate.“
She then tella me: „You’d bloody wella not piss on your plate, you sonna-wa-bitch!“
That is the second person who does not even know me calla me ‚sonna-wa-bitch‘. And why is your staff replying ‚Go to toilet‘? Is that a modern tella? I do not understand. Please tella me.
Later I go for dinner into restorante. Spoon and knife is laida out, but no fock. I tella waitress: „I wanta fock.“
And she tella me: „Sure, everyone wanta fock.“
I tella her: „No, you don’t understand. I wanta fock on the table.“
She tella me: „So, you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock on the table? Get your ass out of here!“
How comma this christian hotell tella the guest in such bed manner?
So, I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanta stay in this hotella no more. When I have paid the a-billa, the portier say to me: „Thank you, and piss on you.“
I say: „Piss on you too, you sonna-wa-bitch. I now go back to Italy.“
Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you sonna-wa-bitch.
Sincerely,
Salvatore Rossi