Cowboy The Police The same The First The times

Lesbian

Von: , Frage gestellt am Mo, 29. Jul 2002

REAL COWBOY

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

"Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences... I guess I am," replied the cowboy.

After a short while he asked her what she was. "I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women," said the young woman.

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

"I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

5 Antworten zu dieser Frage

1. Antwort von nach 3 Stunden hilfreich

   Re: Lesbian

   Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on," said the first surgeon. "You open them up and everything inside is numbered." "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on," said the second. "You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order." "I like to operate on electricians," said the third. "You open them up and everything inside is color-coded." "I like to operate on lawyers," said the fourth. "They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their asses are interchangeable." "I like engineers," said the fifth. "They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
   

2. Antwort von nach 2 Stunden hilfreich

   Re: Lesbian

   Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar. He didn't have a lighter, so he asked his friend if he had one.
   
   "I sure do" he replied and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12" Bic lighter.
   
   "Wow" said his friend. "where did you get that monster?"
   
   "I got it from the genie".
   
   "You have a genie?" he asked.
   
   "Yeah, he is right here in my golf bag".
   
   "Could I see him?"
   
   He opens his golf bag and out pops the genie. The friend says, "I'm a good friend of your master, will you grant me a wish?"
   
   "Yes I will", says the genie.
   
   So the guy asks for one million bucks. The genie hops back into the bag leaving the guy standing there waiting for the million bucks. Suddenly the sky begins to darken and the sound of one million ducks flying overhead is heard.
   
   The friend turns to his golfing partner "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
   
   His buddy says. "Hell, I forgot to tell you the genie is hard of hearing, Do you really think I would have asked him for a 12" Bic!"
   

3. Antwort von nach 2 Stunden hilfreich

   Re: Lesbian

   Only in America
   only in america...can a pizza get to your house faster than a ambulance.
   
   only in america.. are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
   
   only in america... do drugstores make sick walk all the way to backof the store to get their prescriotions while heathly people can buy cigarettes at the front of the tore.
   
   only in america... do we leave our cars worth thousands of dollars in the drveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
   
   only in america...do we use answering machines to screen calls from family and griends and then have call waiting so we won't miss acall from some we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
   
   only in america...do we buy hot dogs buns in a package of eight and hot dogs in package of ten.
   
   only in america...do they drive-up to ATM machine to get money and at the same time have gas pump suck it all up.
   
   only in america... do we use the politics to describe the process so well: "poli"-in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "BLOODSUCKING CREATURES"
   
   only in america... could a homeless combat veteran lives in cardboard box while a draft dodging, lying weasel lives in the White House
   

4. Antwort von nach 2 Stunden hilfreich

   Re: Lesbian

   British News Bits
   ___ From the Churchdown Parish Magazine: ___
   'Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church labeled "For The Sick", is for monetary donations only.'
   
   ___ From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand: ___
   'Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.'
   
   ___ From The Times: ___
   'A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth, was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast-guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common these days."
   
   ___ From The Gloucester Citizen: ___
   'A sex line caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialing an 0891 number from an advertisement entitled "Hear Me Moan" the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, "He got what he deserved."
   
   ___ From The Daily Telegraph in a piece headed "Brussels Pays 200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes": ___
   "... the money will not be going directly into the prostitutes' pocket, but will be used to encourage them to lead a better life. We will be training them for new positions in hotels."
   
   ___ From The Derby Abbey Community News: ___
   "We apologize for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce."
   

5. Antwort von nach 2 Stunden hilfreich

   Re: Lesbian

   Avon Crap
   An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy. Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face.
   
   "Holy cow! What's that smell?"
   
   "I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"
   
   "Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
   

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