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und noch einer

Von: , Frage gestellt am Mo, 29. Jul 2002

Penis research comes to a head
Three British educational institutions were commissioned by the government to discover why the human penis is the shaped the way it is. Oxford University allocated a budget of £500,000 for research. After 2 years they concluded that the reason the head of the penis is wider than the shaft is that it fits better, when in situ, so to speak. This would prevent leakage of semen and increase the probability of successful fertilisation.

Cambridge University spent £750,000 on a research programme that lasted years. The results showed that the penis widened near the tip because it maximised the number of nerve endings stimulated during sex. This would lead to increased sensitivity and a better chance of impregnation.

Finally, the Open University spent £2.50 on a copy of Playboy and 10 minutes in the staff toilet, only to discover that the penis widens at the tip in order to prevent your hand from slipping off the end.

5 Antworten zu dieser Frage

1. Antwort von nach 18 Minuten hilfreich

   Re: und noch einer

   A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers him a million dollars if he would change "The Lord's Prayer" from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." The Pope refused his offer.
   
   Two weeks later, the man offered the pope 10 million dollars to change it from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and again the Pope refused the man's generous offer.
   
   Another week later, the man offered the Pope 20 million dollars and finally the Pope accepted.
   
   The following day, the Pope said to all his officials, "I have some good news and some bad news. 'The good news is, that we have just received a check for 20 million dollars. The bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account!'''
   

2. Antwort von nach 19 Minuten hilfreich

   Re: und noch einer

   Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?"
   
   "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbour was very concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
   
   Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
   

3. Antwort von nach 20 Minuten hilfreich

   Re: und noch einer

   There are only 10 types of people in the world - Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
   

4. Antwort von nach 20 Minuten hilfreich

   Re: und noch einer

   A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
   
   She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
   
   Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
   
   After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
   
   To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean, $200?"
   

5. Antwort von nach einer Stunde hilfreich

   Re: und noch einer

   A teacher decides that she is going to teach her second grade class a new word today. She tells them that the word is "definitely" and its meaning is "absolute, positive, without a doubt."
   
   She asks the class if anyone can think of a sentence with the word in it. She calls on little Susan who is in the back raising her hand, quite sure of herself.
   
   Susan stands up and says, "The sky is definitely blue."
   
   The teacher replies to her, "Well, that's a good sentence but sometimes the sky is gray, and sometimes its cloudy, and sometimes its red and pink so the sky is not definitely blue. Anyone else?"
   
   Tom's hand flies up and she calls on him.
   
   Tom answers, "The water is definitely clear."
   
   "Well, Tom that's a good sentence but sometimes the water is muddy, and sometimes it's green, and sometimes it's full of seaweed so it's not definitely clear. Anyone else?"
   
   Finally, in the far corner, little Robert slowly raises his hand.
   
   "Yes, Robert?" asks the teacher.
   
   "Can I ask a question, teacher?" Robert replies.
   
   "Yes."
   
   "Do farts have lumps?"
   
   "No. Why do you ask."
   
   "Well, then I've definitely pooped in my pants."
   

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