'Something About Wives'

Freizeit & Hobby Witze
1

„Something About Wives“

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
-Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we
Met.
-Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s
wrong.
-Milton Berle

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
„There was
water in the carburetor.“
I asked her, „Where’s the car?“
She replied, „In the lake.“
-Henny Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, „You
know, I
was a fool when I married you.“
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and

didn’t notice."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than
to let him keep her.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don’t
like to
interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I
got myself two girlfriends.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided
not to
report it since the thief was spending much less than
his wife did.

;Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is
finished.

A little boy asked his father, „Daddy, how much does
it cost
to get married?“
The father replied, „I don’t know son, I’m still
paying.“

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa, a
Man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real

happiness was until I got married; then it was too
late.

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: „Wife wanted.“
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: „You can have mine.“

A woman was telling her friend, „I made my husband a
millionaire.“
„And what was he before you married him?“ asked the
friend.
„A billionaire.“ she replied,

2

„Something About Wives“

Ich kenn auch solche Witze … aber eben nur über Männer. Gilt das auch als PW? Müssten dann eigentlich doppelt gewichtet werden! Dann würd ich was rauskriegen.

Also auf geht’s. Hier ist meine Antwort:
What’s a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A hamburger in each hand!

What’s the difference between a gorilla and a man?
The gorilla doesn’t leave so much hair in the bath!

He had so much spots on his face, his friends used to play connect-the-dots on it.

Now you’ve got the baby, you must be worried about getting your figure back.
Not so much as I’m worried getting about the father back!