Folgendes war grad in meiner Mail.
So eine Art Darwin Awards ohne toedliche Folgen.
Number One Idiot of 2004
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison
control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her
little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that
she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I
told her that she better bring her
daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here’s your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
Number Two Idiot of 2004
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life
raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane
and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was
homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was
inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
Number Three Idiot of 2004
A true story out of San Francisco : A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of
America, walked into the branch and wrote „this iz a stikkup. Put all your
muny in this bag.“ While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the
teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might
call the police before he reached the teller’s window. So he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in
line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and,
surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the
harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was
written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to
fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking
somewhat defeated, the man said, „OK“ and left. He was arrested a few minutes
later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don’t bother with this guy’s sign. He probably couldn’t read it anyway.
Number Four Idiot of 2004
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the
cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He
told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and
said, because I don't believe you are over 21. " The robber said he was, but
the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At
that point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it
to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber
two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign!
Idiot Number Five of 2004
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, „Nobody move!“ When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him. This guy doesn’t need a sign, he probably figured it
out himself.
Top Idiots of 2004
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw
a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he
lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder
block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of plexiglass. The
whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that's smart. Give him his sign.
Idiot Number Seven of 2004
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded
cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash
register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
Sign please.
Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote (and breed).
Scary, isn't it?!