Grammar Rules for the Unenlightened

• Don’t use no double negatives.
• Don’t never use no triple negatives.

If possible, avoid conditional clauses instead of making direct statements.

You should not educate others with words like „should“ or „must“.

and:

Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

deutsch
In der Sparte habe ich kürzlich auch was gefunden, das ich bei dieser Gelegenheit beitragen will:

Besserer Schreibstil für bessere Foren

  1. Vermeide Abkürzungen u. Kurzworte, etc.
  2. Bemerkungen in Klammern (egal, wie wichtig sie sind) sind überflüssig.
  3. Vermeide Klischees wie die Pest. Sie sind ein alter Hut.
  4. Fremdworte sind nicht adäquat.
  5. Man sollte niemals verallgemeinern.
  6. Vermeide Zitate. Wie schon Ralph Waldo Emerson sagte. „Ich hasse Zitate! Sag mir, was du weißt!“
  7. Vergleiche sind genauso schlecht wie Klischees.
  8. Fasse dich kurz. Bringe keine redundante Informationen. Mache nicht mehr Worte, als nötig sind. Sowas ist wirklich total überflüssig.
  9. Versuche dich in manchen Situationen eventuell ein bisschen weniger unkonkret auszudrücken.
  10. Ein-Wort-Sätze? Niemals!
  11. Untertreibung ist immer das Beste!
  12. Analogien sind so überflüssig wie ein Fahrrad für Fische.
  13. Passive Sätze müssen unbedingt vermieden werden.
  14. Umgangssprache ist ja wohl fett krass daneben, oder?
  15. Wer braucht schon rhetorische Fragen?
  16. Übertreibung ist eins der allerschlimmsten Dinge überhaupt!
  17. Wie ich schon sagte: „Wiederhole dich nie!“
  18. Achtung: Alle alliterierenden Aussagen abschaffen!
  19. Paß auf, daß Du Dich an die neue Rechtschreibung hältst.
  20. Benutze auf keinen Fall nicht keine doppelte Verneinung.
  21. Schreibe immer zusammenhängende Texte, also:
    …1. Keine Aufzählungen
    …2. Keine nummerierten Listen
  22. Fluche nicht, verdammt noch mal!

Merkt’s Euch! :wink:

Gruß
Mona

  1. Vermeide Abkürzungen u. Kurzworte, etc.

Übrigens: Die Abk. für Abk. ist Abk!

(=PW)

Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Regel, zum Selbstzweck übersteigert…

http://www.columbiaseminary.edu/coffeetalk/050.html
http://grammartips.homestead.com/prepositions1.html
http://grammartips.homestead.com/prepositions2.html
http://www.grammarmudge.cityslide.com/articles/artic…
http://dictionary.reference.com/help/faq/language/g3…

usw. usf.

PW (copied and pasted):

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, „I’m off. The man should be here soon“ Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

„Good morning, madam. I’ve come to…“
„Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,“ Mrs. Smith cut in.
„Really?“ the photographer asked. „Well, good. I’ve made a speciality of babies“
„That’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat“

After a moment, she asked, blushing, „Well, where do we start?“
„Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!“
„Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry and me“
„Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results“
„My, that’s a lot of…“ gasped Mrs. Smith.
„Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but you’d be disappointed with that, I’m sure“
„Don’t I know it,“ Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
„This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London“
„Oh my God!“ Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
„And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with“
„She was difficult?“ asked Mrs. Smith.
„Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look“
„Four and five deep?“ asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
„Yes,“ the photographer said, „And for more than three hours too. The
mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.“
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. „You mean squirrels actually chewed on your … equipment?“
„That’s right. Well, madam, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod so we can get to work.“
„Tripod???“
„Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? … Good Lord, she’s fainted!!“