Englische Formulierungen

[Carnegia]

Hallo zusammen,

Da ich in meiner nächsten Schux einen Cartoon analysieren muss,
hab ich das mal ein bisschen geübt, und werde schätzungsweise in der Schulaufgabe
auch ähnliche Formulierungen verwenden wie beim üben. Deshalb wäre ich sehr dankbar, wenn vllt jemand meine Sätze mal nach Grammatik und v.a. Stil überprüfen könnte. Ich hab’ hier mal ein paar rausgepickt:
(wo ich mir besonders unsicher war, hab ich jetz mal in großbuchstaben geschrieben)

The cartoon refers to the impaired ability of the youth to read and write because of the computer as a more and more indispensable medium in their every-day-life.

To the left there’s hanging a picture at the wall, ILLUSTRATING a smiling face reading a book, which is telling:"…"

The cartoonist is dealing with GREAT sarcasm because he accuses society, and in particularly, the youth to be so much used to the computer and to its icons so that they even have problems to handle a pen . The picture in the leftern part of the cartoon even underpins this issue, that youngsters spent more and more time WITH their pc, because it wants to animate the pupils to read, from which(oder besser: BECAUSE of which?) one can conclude that the time offsprings spent for reading declines, too.
The cartoonist wants to appeal to society by his cartoon not to neglect the venerable means to occupate and to get conscious of the public’s increasing addiction to modern medias.

Because her father is ADRESSING TO her, asking her for help by setting educational measures, she’s turned her head towards him, staring at him amazedly

The cartoon is dealing with great sarcasm, because it’s blaming the adults not only to be too incompetent to bring up their children but even to HAVE TO BE teached by them because they don’t get along with modern technology. The cartoonist expresses that fact in a very ironical way, by representing the youth by a very young child, almost a baby, because she’s still playing with puppets and he lefts society thereby by even a GREATER EGG ON THE FACE because of this great difference in age. (oder was heißt: "einen stärkeren schlag versetzen/ noch dümmer dastehen lassen??)

she’s LEANING one hand on her pregnant stomach

tut mir leid, dass es noch soviel geworden ist.
ich bedanke mich jedenfalls schon mal im Vorhinein
lg Pisaverde

[Dominique_Neuenhagen]

Hallo Pisaverde,

Deshalb wäre ich sehr dankbar, wenn vllt jemand meine Sätze mal nach
Grammatik und v.a. Stil überprüfen könnte.

Das versuche ich dann gerne mal

Ich hab’ hier mal
ein paar rausgepickt:
(wo ich mir besonders unsicher war, hab ich jetz mal in
großbuchstaben geschrieben)

The cartoon refers to the impaired ability of the youth to read and
write because of the computer as a more and more indispensable
medium in their every-day-life.

Hier würde ich von „reduced ability“ sprechen. Außerdem schreibst Du besser „young people“ statt „the youth“ es sei denn, Du beziehst Dich auf einen bestimmten Jugendlichen.

To the left there’s hanging a picture at the wall, ILLUSTRATING a
smiling face reading a book, which is telling:"…"

Besser: "On the left of the cartoon there is a picture hanging on the wall, showing a smiling face reading a book which says…

The cartoonist is dealing with GREAT sarcasm

Richtig: „The cartoonist is using strong (oder considerable) sarcasm…“
Hier kommt es darauf an, was genau Du sagen möchtest. „Considerable“ passt, wenn Du meinst, dass sich der Sarkasmus durch den ganzen Cartoon auf verschiedene Weise zeigt. „Strong“ ist besser, wenn der Sarkasmus nur an einer Stelle besonders deutlich ist.

because he accuses society, and in particularly, the youth

„… and young people in particular,… to be so used…“

to be so much used to the computer and to its icons so that they even
have problems to handle a pen .

„… to be so used… that they even… handling a pen.“
Das „much“ ist hier zu viel genau wie das so vor dem that.

The picture in the leftern part of the cartoon even underpins this
issue,

„The picture in the left of the cartoon even emphasises the point…“

that youngsters spent more and more time WITH their pc,

Ich glaube „computers“ ist hier passender, da es um die Mehrzahl geht. Außerdem heisst es „spend“.

because it wants to animate the pupils to read, from which (oder
besser: BECAUSE of which?) one can conclude that the time offsprings
spent for reading declines, too.

Besser: „… because it encourages pupils to read, from which…“
„Offsprings“ kannst du einfach weglassen.

The cartoonist wants to appeal to society by his cartoon not to
neglect the venerable means to occupate and to get conscious of the
public’s increasing addiction to modern medias.

Es tut mir Leid, aber ich weiss nicht, was Du damit sagen willst. Das musst Du mir näher erklären. „Venerable means to occupate…“ ergibt für mich keinen Sinn. Ich bin mir aber sicher, dass es im Plural „media“ heisst.

Because her father is ADRESSING TO her, asking her for help by
setting educational measures, she’s turned her head towards him,
staring at him amazedly

Es muss einfach „addressing“ heissen.

The cartoon is dealing with great sarcasm, because it’s blaming the
adults not only to be too incompetent to bring up their children but
even to HAVE TO BE teached by them because they don’t get along with
modern technology.

„The cartoon is very sarcastic, because it accuses adults not only of being too incompetent to bring up their children but even of having to be taught by them because they don’t get along with modern technology.“

The cartoonist expresses that fact in a very ironical way,

Das muss „ironic“ heissen.

by representing the youth by a very young child, almost a baby,

Wie oben: „young people“ statt „the youth“

because she’s still playing with puppets and he lefts society thereby
by even a GREATER EGG ON THE FACE because of this great difference in
age. (oder was heißt: "einen stärkeren schlag versetzen/ noch dümmer
dastehen lassen??)

„…puppets and he thereby makes society appear even more ridiculous because of…“

she’s LEANING one hand on her pregnant stomach

Besser: „resting“.
Macht nichts, ich hoffe, es hilft Dir weiter.
Viele Grüße
Dominique

[Anonym_d5503925c587]

Hi…

The cartoon refers to the impaired ability of the youth to read

Hier würde ich von „reduced ability“ sprechen.

Ich habe nichts gegen „impaired“.

„venerable means to occupate“ ergibt für mich keinen Sinn.

Gemeint sind wohl „traditional pastimes“.

genumi

[Carnegia]

Hallo Pisaverde,

Deshalb wäre ich sehr dankbar, wenn vllt jemand meine Sätze mal nach
Grammatik und v.a. Stil überprüfen könnte.

Das versuche ich dann gerne mal

Ich hab’ hier mal
ein paar rausgepickt:
(wo ich mir besonders unsicher war, hab ich jetz mal in
großbuchstaben geschrieben)

The cartoon refers to the impaired ability of the youth to read and
write because of the computer as a more and more indispensable
medium in their every-day-life.

Hier würde ich von „reduced ability“ sprechen. Außerdem
schreibst Du besser „young people“ statt „the youth“ es sei
denn, Du beziehst Dich auf einen bestimmten Jugendlichen.

To the left there’s hanging a picture at the wall, ILLUSTRATING a
smiling face reading a book, which is telling:"…"

Besser: "On the left of the cartoon there is a picture hanging
on the wall, showing a smiling face reading a book which
says…

The cartoonist is dealing with GREAT sarcasm

Richtig: „The cartoonist is using strong (oder considerable)
sarcasm…“

also: „is dealing with sarcasm…“ geht gar nicht, oda?

Hier kommt es darauf an, was genau Du sagen möchtest.
„Considerable“ passt, wenn Du meinst, dass sich der Sarkasmus
durch den ganzen Cartoon auf verschiedene Weise zeigt.
„Strong“ ist besser, wenn der Sarkasmus nur an einer Stelle
besonders deutlich ist.

because he accuses society, and in particularly, the youth

„… and young people in particular,… to be so used…“

to be so much used to the computer and to its icons so that they even
have problems to handle a pen .

„… to be so used… that they even… handling a pen.“
Das „much“ ist hier zu viel genau wie das so vor dem that.

ja stimmt

The picture in the leftern part of the cartoon even underpins this
issue,

„The picture in the left of the cartoon even emphasises the
point…“

geht underpin gar nicht, oder hört sich das nur komisch an? das hab ich nämlich mal wo gelesen…

that youngsters spent more and more time WITH their pc,

Ich glaube „computers“ ist hier passender, da es um die
Mehrzahl geht. Außerdem heisst es „spend“.

because it wants to animate the pupils to read, from which (oder
besser: BECAUSE of which?) one can conclude that the time offsprings
spent for reading declines, too.

Besser: „… because it encourages pupils to read, from
which…“
„Offsprings“ kannst du einfach weglassen.

The cartoonist wants to appeal to society by his cartoon not to
neglect the venerable means to occupate and to get conscious of the
public’s increasing addiction to modern medias.

wie genumi richtig schreibt (Danke schon mal) soll das soviel heißen wie;
und nicht die altbewährten Mittel sich zu beschäftigen zu verschmähen…

Es tut mir Leid, aber ich weiss nicht, was Du damit sagen
willst. Das musst Du mir näher erklären. „Venerable means to
occupate…“ ergibt für mich keinen Sinn. Ich bin mir aber
sicher, dass es im Plural „media“ heisst.

Because her father is ADRESSING TO her, asking her for help by
setting educational measures, she’s turned her head towards him,
staring at him amazedly

Es muss einfach „addressing“ heissen.

?? also er wendet sich an sie = he’s addressing to her?

The cartoon is dealing with great sarcasm, because it’s blaming the
adults not only to be too incompetent to bring up their children but
even to HAVE TO BE teached by them because they don’t get along with
modern technology.

„The cartoon is very sarcastic, because it accuses adults not
only of being too incompetent to bring up their children but
even of having to be taught by them because they don’t get
along with modern technology.“

The cartoonist expresses that fact in a very ironical way,

Das muss „ironic“ heissen.

by representing the youth by a very young child, almost a baby,

Wie oben: „young people“ statt „the youth“

because she’s still playing with puppets and he lefts society thereby
by even a GREATER EGG ON THE FACE because of this great difference in
age. (oder was heißt: "einen stärkeren schlag versetzen/ noch dümmer
dastehen lassen??)

„…puppets and he thereby makes society appear even more
ridiculous because of…“

Danke schön

she’s LEANING one hand on her pregnant stomach

Besser: „resting“.

Macht nichts, ich hoffe, es hilft Dir weiter.

Ja und vielen Dank für die Antwort glg Pisaverde