benötige Hilfe bei Englisch Summary

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#1

Könnt ihr mir den Text auf Fehler in der Grammatik,Rechtschreibung,Satzbau korrigieren?
Wäre wirklich nett,da mein Englisch miserabel ist…

The movie „Bend it like Beckham“ deals with an Indian girl called Jess Bhamra, a young woman,who is in a conflict between two cultures.

Jess often plays football in the park.
One day Jules, a member of the womens football team Hounslaw Harrires, discovers her talent and invites Jess to take part in the practice. Her parents want to keep up Indian traditions and culture and so they do not want to see their daughter in shorts.They forbid Jess to play football in the team,but after a time Jess does it secretly.She lies that she has a holiday job.Jess and Jules become very good friends,but their friendship has to pass a severe test because both of them love their coach Joe.At the end of the film the Hounslaw Harriers plays an important final and Jess can not take part, because it is the day of her sisters wedding.
Jess is looking so sad that her father allows her to play the second half.
They win the match and an American talent scout invites Jess and Jules to Canta Clara for a scholarship.Although Mrs. and Mr. Bhamra have a bad feeling, they let their daughter go.

#2

hier mein Vorschlag auf die Schnelle:

The movie „Bend it like Beckham“ deals with an Indian girl

called Jess Bhamra, a young woman,who is in a conflict between

two cultures.

Jess often plays football in the park.
One day Jules, a member of the women`s football team Hounslaw
Harrires, discovers her talent and invites Jess to take part
in the practice.
Her parents want to keep up Indian traditions and culture and

therefore do not want to see their daughter in shorts.They

forbid Jess to play football in the team that´s why Jess does it secretly behind their back. And worse, she lies about having a holiday job.Jess and
Jules become very good friends,but their friendship has to
pass a severe test because both of them love their coach
Joe.At the end of the film the Hounslaw Harriers play an
important final where Jess can not take part in, because it is the
day of her sister`s wedding.
Because of Jess looking so sad her father allows her to play the
second half.
They win the match and an American talent scout invites Jess
and Jules to Canta Clara for a scholarship.Although Mrs. and
Mr. Bhamra have a bad feeling, they let their daughter go.

Liebe Grüße Janine

#3

Könnt ihr mir den Text auf Fehler in der
Grammatik,Rechtschreibung,Satzbau korrigieren?
Wäre wirklich nett,da mein Englisch miserabel ist…

Hmmm, sieht mir sehr nach 'ner Hausaufgabe für die Schule aus; ist nicht Sinn der Sache, sich hier seine Schulaufgaben verbessern zu lassen. Außerdem - dein Englisch ist absolut nicht miserabel, sondern durchaus sehr passabel.
Dass die Anfrage alle 4 Minuten wiederholt wird, mag ein Serverfehler sein, sonst wär’s ein Fall für 'ne Missbrauchsmeldung.

Trotzdem hier ein paar Änderungen deines Textes:

The movie „Bend it like Beckham“ is about an Indian girl
called Jess Bhamra, a young woman, who is torn between
two cultures.

Jess often likes to play football in the park.
One day Jules, a member of the womens football team Hounslaw Harrires, discovers her talent and invites Jess to join the training of her team. However, her parents want to preserve Indian traditions and culture and so they do not like to see their daughter dressed in western sports gear. They forbid Jess to play football with the team, but after a while Jess joins the team secretly. She is lying to her parents, telling them that she has a summer job. Jess and Jules become very good friends, but their friendship has to pass a severe test because both of them are in love with their coach Joe. At the end of the film the Hounslaw Harriers are one of the contestants in an important final and Jess can not participate in it, because it is her sisters wedding day.
Because Jess is looking truely sad her father finally allows her to enter the match in the second half.
Jess’s team wins the match and an American talent scout invites Jess
and Jules to Canta Clara for a scholarship. Although Mrs. and
Mr. Bhamra have a bad feeling, they allow their daughter to leave.

Keine Garantie, aber Grüße,
Ferdi

#4

ich versuchs mal ^^ hoffe, es hilft dir weiter

The movie „Bend it like Beckham“ is about an Indian girl
called Jess Bhamra, (a young woman, - das brauchst du nicht ist so doppelt gemoppelt mit Indian girl) who is in a conflict between
two cultures.

Jess often plays football in the park.
One day , Jules, a member of the womens football team Hounslaw Harrires, discovers her talent **for soccer** and invites Jess to take part in the practice. **Jess'** parents want to **uphold** Indian traditions and culture and so they do not want to see their daughter **wearing** shorts.They forbid Jess to play football in the team, but after a **while** Jess does it secretly.She **'s telling her parents** that she has a holiday job. Jess and Jules become very good friends, but their friendship has to pass a severe test because both of them love their coach Joe. At the end of the film the Hounslaw Harriers **play** an important **finale** and Jess can not take part, because it is the day of her sisters wedding.
Jess is looking so sad that her father allows her to go and play in the
second half.
They win the match and an American talent scout invites Jess
and Jules to Canta Clara for a scholarship.Although Mr. and
Mrs. Bhamra have a bad feeling about that , they let their daughter go.

(mr. and mrs.- das ist im englischen sprachgebrauch so üblich, dass der mann zuerst kommt)

#5

Ich schließe mich meinen Vorgängern an, es ist meines Erachtens alles korrigiert, was nötig war. Und hier ein Tipp von mir: Wähle die Version aus, die ‚deinem‘ Englisch (das im Übrigen wirklich nicht schlecht ist) am nächsten kommt. Du kannst das dann nachher notfalls auch besser erklären/umformulieren etc.

#6

Tut mir leid, Deine Anfrage nicht früher gefunden zu haben. So schlecht ist Dein Text nicht, und ich denke, inzwischen hat sich die Sache ja auch mittlerweile erledigt. Gruß Jürgen