Guten Morgen zusammen:wink:
habe einen bekannten der sich auf Englisch bewerben muss und da er im englischen etwas Probleme in der Grammatik hat, möchte ich gerne nett fragen wer sich seine Bewerbung angucken kann und es evtl. korregieren kann.
Vielen Dank im Voraus.
Gruss
Zana
Hallo,
frage den Mod mal ganz nett, ob er deinen Beitrag in das Fremdsprachen Forum verschieben kann …
LG
Jasmin
hier ist die Bewerbung:wink:
Application for a Job in the field of IT Consulting
Dear…
As a graduated business informatics with practical experiences in the field of project managing I fulfil your required claims. In this application I would like to present you my qualifications.
During my studies at the Niederrhein University for applied since I have realized IT projects independently. As a part of my diploma I was able to successfully concept and implement a Document-Management-System for a IT service provider. After a Internship in the field of e-learning, I took part on SAP/R3 specializing courses and team projects and was able to finish them successfully.
I have made many practical experiences through internships during my studies and was able to gain further experiences as a temporary employee in different jobs and companies.
I am attending an entry position in the field of IT consulting for the beginning of my professional life. My preferred office location is the Rhein-Rhur area.
My annual salary notion is 36.000 €. The earliest entry date is 1st May 2009.
Should you consider my qualifications and experiences appropriate for the position, I would very much appreciate the opportunity to attend an interview.
Yours faithfully,
Lebenslauf:
__________________________________________________________________________
Personal Information:
Address:
Phone:
Mobile:
E-Mail:
Nationality: German
Date of Birth:
__________________________________________________________________________
Education: Niederrhein University of Applied Sciences
Since 2001 student in Business information systems
Expected date of graduation: July 2008
Friedrich-Dessauer-Schule, Limburg (Secondary school)
Graduated in June 2001
A-Level
Work experience:
03/2007 – 02/2008 (Firma Name) Graduand
Diploma thesis „Conception and implementation of
a document management system“
11/2005 – 04/2006 University of Applied Sciences,
Trainee Development of an online Web-help for an e-learning system
Conception and implementation (learn.hsnr.de/help)
Improvement, maintenance and the establishment of the search portal of the University
12/2005 – 12/2006 (Firma Name) , Düsseldorf
Student assistant
Marketing, database qualification as well as ad placement
09/2004 – 08/2005 (Firma Name) , Düsseldorf
Student assistant
Database migration, quality assurance and telephone support
08/1999 – 06/2000 (Firma Name) , Limburg
Trainee
Handling the software from DVAG, implementation and documentation the software
_________________________________________________________________________
Additional Skills:
German, first language
English, advanced elementary
Kurdish, first language
Computer Skills:
Microsoft Office, Visio, Project
Programming languages C / C++, Pascal
Basics SAP/R3
Basics HTML, XML and MySQL
OS: Windows 98, Windows 2000/NT, Windows XP, Linux, MAC OS X
Adobe Photoshop
__________________________________________________________________________
References available upon request
[Bei dieser Antwort wurde das Vollzitat nachträglich automatisiert entfernt]
Hallo,
ich fang mal an, aber ich habe nicht genug Zeit alles durchzugehen.
As a graduated business informatics
das ist keine Bezeichnung einer Tätigkeit oder eines Menschen, es wird wohl Informatiker gemeint sein, das kann „computer scientist“ sein, das kann „IT specialist“ sein,
besser ist
I graduated in the field of computer scienes.
with practical experiences
in the field of project managing I fulfil your required
claims.
Claims sind Behauptungen oder Ansprüche.
Passender wäre „requirements“
In this application I would like to present you my
qualifications.
Der ganze Satz ist nicht richtig.
In this application = wo sonst?`
Also lieber: I would like to …
und die Verbkonstruktion mit Objekt , das passt auch nicht:
I would like to present my qualifications. (o.ä.)
During my studies at the Niederrhein University for applied
since
applied sciences
I have realized IT projects independently.
I have independently realised several IT projects.
As a part of
my diploma
As part of my diploma
I was able to successfully concept
concept ist kein Verb
and implement a
Document-Management-System
Das ist ein schreckliches Konglomerat von Deutsch und Englisch.
for a IT service provider.
for an IT service provider
After a Internship
After an internship
in the field of e-learning, I took part on
to take part in
SAP/R3
specializing courses and team projects and was able to finish
them successfully.I have made many practical experiences through internships
during my studies and was able to gain further experiences as
a temporary employee in different jobs and companies.
experience nicht im Plural in diesem Zusammenhang, Satz umstellen
I am attending an entry position in the field of IT consulting
for the beginning of my professional life.
Er ist in dieser Stellung?
dann nicht „to attend“
I am currently working as …
My preferred office
location is the Rhein-Rhur area.
Ich kenn mich da nicht so aus, meinst du um Duisburg rum? Weil mit Rhein-Ruhr (sollte wenigstens richtig geschrieben sein) man auf Englisch nicht so viel anfangen kann.
My annual salary notion is 36.000 €. The earliest entry date
is 1st May 2009.
notion ist nicht das richtige Wort, das ist ein Gedanke (e.g. „the notion of equality“). Ich würde mich nicht auf das angestrebte Gehalt festlegen, aber bitte:
I envisage a yearly salary of 36.000 €.
Modernes English: 1 May 2009.
My earliest entry date would be 1 May 2009.
Should you consider my qualifications and experiences
appropriate for the position, I would very much appreciate the
opportunity to attend an interview.
… to meet you in person
So und jetzt muss ich weg.
Gruß
Elke