Bitte Grammatik überprüfen, danke

The subway, the tunnel of crime

Kids and adolescents, armed with knifes and weapons, threaten poor people with less money. They don’t go to school and stay in subways and in dark dangerous guetos. The threatened people work hard for money. A person like this is Eddie Gruber, too. He is a 62-year-old saniter and live in Bronx. He was threatened on January 21st at about 5:15 p.m. on the subway as the train was pulling into 42nd street station. His life was endangered just because of 25 Dollar. He can not believe that the sensationalist storys of the news are the real life. Now, he is shocked. A witness, Amy Kennedy, has seen this gruel act of crime. The adolescent was white-skined and had a giant and dangerous knife, she said. She had seen a second boy in the background, too. He was armed with a weapon to support the other boy. She don’t know, what she should do. She was scared and had fear about her life. The assailant was not catched and is somewere outside. Day by day, someone will be attack, but there is no happy end, mostly. The adolescents will be more unscrupulous and more fearless. If it is possible don’t go by subway alone! You can also be a victim.

Hi!
Ich kümmere mich nur um die Grammatik und Rechtschreibung…

Kids and adolescents, armed with knifes and weapons, threaten

knives

poor people with less money. They don’t go to school and stay

with little money

in subways and in dark dangerous guetos. The threatened people

was sind guetos? ghettos? The people they threaten/ the people threatened

work hard for money. A person like this is Eddie Gruber, too.

One of them is E. G. (ohne too)

He is a 62-year-old saniter and live in Bronx. He was

was ist ein saniter? janitor?? paramedic???

threatened on January 21st at about 5:15 p.m. on the subway as
the train was pulling into 42nd street station. His life was

Street

endangered just because of 25 Dollar. He can not believe that

dollars - cannot

the sensationalist storys of the news are the real life. Now,

stories

he is shocked. A witness, Amy Kennedy, has seen this gruel act

  • A witness saw this…cruel… (gruel ist Haferschleim :wink: )

of crime. The adolescent was white-skined and had a giant and

skinned

dangerous knife, she said. She had seen a second boy in the

She saw

background, too. He was armed with a weapon to support the

He was armed to support the other… (Armed with a weapon wäre: Er war mit einer Waffe bewaffnet)

other boy. She don’t know, what she should do. She was scared

didn’t know what to do.

and had fear about her life. The assailant was not catched and

and feared for her life - caught!

is somewere outside. Day by day, someone will be attack, but

is around somewhere. Every day people are attacked but mostly

there is no happy end, mostly. The adolescents will be more

… The adolescents are becoming more…

unscrupulous and more fearless. If it is possible don’t go by

possible, don’t…

subway alone! You can also be a victim.

Gruß
mitzisch

Hi!
Ich kümmere mich nur um die Grammatik und Rechtschreibung…

…ein wenig möchte ich doch auch inhaltlich tätig werden.

Kids and adolescents, armed with knifes and weapons, threaten

knives

Messer sind in dem Zusammenhang also keine Waffen ?

poor people with less money.

…ist doppelt gemoppelt.

They don’t go to school and stay

wer? Die armen Leute ?

with little money

in subways and in dark dangerous guetos. The threatened people

was sind guetos? ghettos? The people they threaten/ the people
threatened

work hard for money. A person like this is Eddie Gruber, too.

One of them is E. G. (ohne too)

He is a 62-year-old saniter and live in Bronx. He was

was ist ein saniter? janitor?? paramedic???

threatened on January 21st at about 5:15 p.m. on the subway as
the train was pulling into 42nd street station. His life was

Street

endangered just because of 25 Dollar. He can not believe that

dollars - cannot

the sensationalist storys of the news are the real life.

besser: Are reality.

Now,

he is shocked. A witness, Amy Kennedy, has seen this gruel act

  • A witness saw this…cruel… (gruel ist Haferschleim :wink: )

besser noch: Amy…witnessed this cruel…

of crime. The adolescent was white-skined and had a giant and

skinned

dangerous knife, she said.

Giant and dangerous ist wieder too much.

She had seen a second boy in the
She saw

Nein, she had seen ist der RICHTIGE tempus

background, too.

He was armed with a weapon to support the
He was armed to support the other… (Armed with a weapon

aber dann auch hier: he had been armed to support…

wäre: Er war mit einer Waffe bewaffnet)

other boy. She don’t know, what she should do. She was scared

didn’t know what to do.

…und hier: she had not known what to do, fearing for her life.

and had fear about her life. The assailant was not catched and

and feared for her life - caught!

is somewere outside. Day by day, someone will be attack, but

is around somewhere. Every day people are attacked but mostly

there is no happy end, mostly

Happy end ist sehr deutsch ! happy outcome

The adolescents will be more
… The adolescents are becoming more…

unscrupulous and more fearless. If it is possible don’t go by

If possible…

possible, don’t…

subway alone

on your own…

You can also be a victim.

You might become a victim

Gruß
mitzisch

Gruß auch von Olgu

2 Like

vielen Dank