Englisch Dairy Berichtigen

Ich würde gerne wissen, ob die gramatik und die formulierungen richtig geschreiben sind.
On the 6th of May, 2012 we began our trip of Marienberg to London. We made one between stop near Zwickau to exchange the bus drivers, from there it went to Calais in France. The bus ride to the harbor was very long and I have tried to sleep, but it was uncomfortably to sleep in the bus because it was very narrow. When we were at 5 o’clock on the ferry, I was very excited because I have never driven ferry. When we arrived in Dover, I was very happy to be back on the mainland.
On May 7, 2012 we drive from Dover to Greenwich. When we got there at 9 o’clock, I was intrigued by the prospect of London. Before we could look at this zero meridian, we have got a bracelet. The first thing I wanted to do was to stand me on the zero meridian, but as I could determine that was just one line. It was located on the meridian a museum that I looked too but I could not interested for it. Then we went to Madame Tussands. This wax museum was very versatile but also full of tourists which I did find not so great. I watched a 4d film the very rousing was. From there we went to the Thames where we had our meeting point in London. At about 6 pm we came to our guest families, our guest family was very friendly and nice. The facility was outdated but there was pizza for dinner. After that, I was happy to lie in a bed and to sleep to be able.On May 8, 2012, I got up at 6 o’clock and have gotten dressed. For breakfast I ate toast with fruit mixture and I drink a very sweet mango juice. From the meeting point, we went to London to pick up the travel guide, from there we went on across London. At London to race was quite funny and the tour guide was always advancing. Unfortunately we could the changing of the guard not exactly watch, because everything was full of tourists. After the tour we visited the Tower of London and Tower Bridge. In the Tower of London, I have thrown ten cents; I hope it brings me luck. Besides, I have eaten there also chips, but they were very soft and greasy. When we returned home there were mashed potatoes with beef, carrots and peas, this was very delicious.On 9 May 2012, I got up at 6 o’clock and have gotten dressed me. For breakfast I ate toast with fruit mixture and I drink very sweet mango juice. From the meeting place, we drove to Windsor Castle there I am gone with some teach to the elite school Eton. The students were dressed very funny, but this is something I would not necessarily attract. Then we went to Brighton. It is a very beautiful beach, where I collected rocks and ate bagels for the first time, it was very tasty. At about 5pm we went back home. And 7.30pm, there was pasta with meat balls to dinner, after this I packed my bags.From May 10 to 11, 2012, on 10 May, there was toast again with fruit mix. But this time we have not run to the meeting point, we were driven. As we were in London we had to take a test, from Marble Arch to run the London Eye. In the time we were also in Hamleys the biggest toys store of London, this was very big and also very amazing. We have passed the test and then we rode the London Eye. The view from 132 m height is great and very stunning. Then we had free time again and we are gone in this time to the Horse Guards and also in some souvenir shops have been. 6 pm was the end of the London trip. We drove back to the ferry in Dover, but up to the ferry we could not drive because the customs has stopped us and he has selected six suitcases to control, I was quite excited, but luckily was my suitcase not selected. Time passed quickly and hardly any in England we were again in Marienberg. But on this language trip I will remember for a long time.

Hallo Lumich!

Zunächst einmal möchte ich Dich darauf hinweisen dass viele Ausdrücke in deinem Text wortwörtlich aus dem Deutschen ins Englische übersetzt wurden. Ich möchte Dir sehr gerne helfen und würde Dir auch eine komplett überarbeitete Version des Textes zurückschicken, leider habe ich z.Z. viele Examen, und habe desswegen nur wenig Zeit.

Wenn es für Dich ok ist, könnte ich dir in 2 Wochen eine einwandfreie Version zuschicken.

Desweiteren gehe ich davon aus dass du ein „Diary“ und kein „Dairy“ (Molkereibetrieb) schreiben möchtest :smile:

Liebe Grüße

Paul

Hallo Paul, könntest du das auch bis nächstewoche montag oder dienstag berichtigen ? ja, das meinte ich aber ich hab das leider zu spät gemerkt.

Hi,

Es tur mir leid, aber wie bereits gesagt, bin ich zur Zeit überaus beschäftigt.
Ich kann mich frühestens in 2 Wochen damit beschäftigen.

Vielleicht findet sich ja noch jemand anderes, der Dir früher behilflich sein kann.
Ich hoffe das bereitet Dir nicht zuviele Umstände.

Gruß

Paul

Hallo Paul, könntest du das auch bis nächstewoche montag oder
dienstag berichtigen ? ja, das meinte ich aber ich hab das
leider zu spät gemerkt.

Hi Lumich,
sorry - da kann ich dir leider nicht helfen.
LG Effeso

Ich habe den text nocheinmal überarbeitet und ich hoffe ich konnte diesen verbessern.
We started our journey of Marienberg to London on 6 May 2012. We preserved between stop at Zwickau to exchange the bus-drivers, it worked after cal sharps in France from there. The bus journey to the port was very long and I have tried to sleep but was very unpleasantly to sleep in the bus because it was very narrow. When we were on the ferry toward 5 o’clock, I was very excited because I have never gone by ferry. Has I was very glad to be on mainland again arrived as us in Dover.
On May 7th. We went from Dover to Greenwich in 2012. When we arrived there at 9 o’clock, I was fascinated by the view of London. Before we could at the zero meridian, we got a bracelet. What I wanted to do was the first for me deliver on the zero meridian. But as I could state this was only a normal line. It was a museum also on the meridian, which I also looked but I could do me not interests for it. We then went to madam Tussands. The waxworks were very versatility but also full of tourists which I haven’t found so beautiful. I also unite 4 D film which was very infectious seen.
From there we went to the Thames, where ours were meeting place in London. We came into our guest families at approx 06. 00 hours, our guest family was very kind and nice. The equipment was obsolete but there was pizza for dinner. After that I was glad to be and to be able to sleep in a bed.
I got up on May 8th, 2012, at 6 o’clock and have got dressed. For breakfast I ate toast with one fruit mixture and drank a very sweet mango juice. We have gone from the meeting place in Catford to the photo of the courier to London, it worked from there across London. In London to run was rather funny and the courier was always ahead. Unfortunately, we couldn’t see the changing of the guard exactly because everything was full of tourists. After the tour we went to the control tower of London and the control towers bridge. Into the control tower of London have I thrown ten cents, I hope it brings me luck. In addition, I also have eaten French fries there but these were very soft and greasy. Had there were mashed potatoes with beef, carrots and peas, which was very delicious returned home as us.
I got up on May 9th, 2012, at 6 o’clock and have got dressed. For breakfast I ate thunders with fruits mixture and drank a very sweet mango juice. From the meeting place it then worked to Windsor Castle there I am one couple of teach school Eton to the elite run. The pupils could be looked very funnily but I wouldn’t certainly attract something like that. After that it worked to Brighton. It is a very beautiful beach, I have collected stones and for the first time bagel eaten there, it was very delicious. It went toward 5 pm home again. On and gave pasta 7. 30 pm with meat balls for dinners, after that I have packed the suitcases and mind been pleased at home.
From 10 until 11 May 2012, on May 10th there was toast mix fruits again. But we didn’t have to the meeting place run this time we were driven. We had to unite to take test, from Marble Arch to the Eye run when we were in London. We were also the greatest toys shop in Hamleys in London at the time, this was very big and also very fascinating. We have passed the test and we then drove with the Eye. The look from 132 m height is super and very impressive. Then we had free time again and we have gone at this time to the Horse Guards and we also were in some souvenir shops. The end of the journey to London was at 18. 00 hours. We returned to the ferry in Dover but we couldn’t drive up to the ferry because the custom has stopped us and he has selected six suitcases for control, I was rather excited but my suitcase fortunately wasn’t selected. The time passed fast and we hardly were in Marienberg in England again. But at this language I will remember journey for a long time.

Hi,

Also, nur so aus reiner Neugier, aus welchem Grund möchtest Du dieses ‚diary‘ schreiben?

Leider sind nach wie vor sehr viele Fehler im Text enthalten, dies soll keine Kritik sein, sondern nur eine Beobachtung.

Gruß

Paul

Hallo -

nein: ‚Grammatik‘ schreibt man groß und mit zwei ‚m‘, ‚Formulierungen‘ schreibt man ebenfalls groß.

Spaß beiseite: Ich weiß nicht auf welcher Lernstufe Du bist oder im wievielten Jahr Du Englisch lernst - die Formulierungen sind halt vielfach Deutsch, wörtlich ins Englische übersetzt, nach dem Schema ‚I break together‘.
Man könnte Dir das jetzt fein in sauberes, tatsächliches Englisch übersetzen - aber ich vermute, das ist für die Schule, und der Lehrer muss ja schon DEINEN Stand kennen.
Als Anregung: die Satzstellung, die Anordnung der einzelnen Bestandteile eines Satzes ist meistens optimierungsfähig: subject - verb - object ist ja die Grundregel.
Zeiten prüfen: in einem Satz bei einer Zeitform bleiben.

Nichts für ungut.

Gruß
roadwayrona

Hi Lumich

Dieser Text sieht leider sehr schlecht aus. Eine komplette Korrektur würde länger dauern und viele Änderungen beinhalten.

Nur ein paar kurze Punkte für den Anfang, falsches in Klammern, Korrektur daneben:

On the 6th of May, 2012 we began our trip (of)from Marienberg to London. We made one (between stop)intermediate stop near Zwickau to (exchange) change the bus drivers, from there (it) we went to Calais in France. The bus ride to the harbor was very long and I (have) tried to sleep, but it was (uncomfortably)uncomfortable to sleep in the bus because it was very narrow. When we were()on the ferry at 5 o’clock, I was very excited because I have never (driven) been on a ferry. When we arrived in Dover, I was very happy to be back on (the main) land.

Usw. usw., ich empfehle stark den Text auf Grammatik, Tempus und Wortschatz, bzw. Verständnis zu prüfen, bevor er (wahrscheinlich) abgegeben wird.

greets,
Solanum

On May 7, 2012 we drive from Dover to Greenwich. When we got
there at 9 o’clock, I was intrigued by the prospect of London.
Before we could look at this zero meridian, we have got a
bracelet. The first thing I wanted to do was to stand me on
the zero meridian, but as I could determine that was just one
line. It was located on the meridian a museum that I looked
too but I could not interested for it. Then we went to Madame
Tussands. This wax museum was very versatile but also full of
tourists which I did find not so great. I watched a 4d film
the very rousing was. From there we went to the Thames where
we had our meeting point in London. At about 6 pm we came to
our guest families, our guest family was very friendly and
nice. The facility was outdated but there was pizza for
dinner. After that, I was happy to lie in a bed and to sleep
to be able.On May 8, 2012, I got up at 6 o’clock and have
gotten dressed. For breakfast I ate toast with fruit mixture
and I drink a very sweet mango juice. From the meeting point,
we went to London to pick up the travel guide, from there we
went on across London. At London to race was quite funny and
the tour guide was always advancing. Unfortunately we could
the changing of the guard not exactly watch, because
everything was full of tourists. After the tour we visited the
Tower of London and Tower Bridge. In the Tower of London, I
have thrown ten cents; I hope it brings me luck. Besides, I
have eaten there also chips, but they were very soft and
greasy. When we returned home there were mashed potatoes with
beef, carrots and peas, this was very delicious.On 9 May 2012,
I got up at 6 o’clock and have gotten dressed me. For
breakfast I ate toast with fruit mixture and I drink very
sweet mango juice. From the meeting place, we drove to Windsor
Castle there I am gone with some teach to the elite school
Eton. The students were dressed very funny, but this is
something I would not necessarily attract. Then we went to
Brighton. It is a very beautiful beach, where I collected
rocks and ate bagels for the first time, it was very tasty. At
about 5pm we went back home. And 7.30pm, there was pasta with
meat balls to dinner, after this I packed my bags.From May 10
to 11, 2012, on 10 May, there was toast again with fruit mix.
But this time we have not run to the meeting point, we were
driven. As we were in London we had to take a test, from
Marble Arch to run the London Eye. In the time we were also in
Hamleys the biggest toys store of London, this was very big
and also very amazing. We have passed the test and then we
rode the London Eye. The view from 132 m height is great and
very stunning. Then we had free time again and we are gone in
this time to the Horse Guards and also in some souvenir shops
have been. 6 pm was the end of the London trip. We drove back
to the ferry in Dover, but up to the ferry we could not drive
because the customs has stopped us and he has selected six
suitcases to control, I was quite excited, but luckily was my
suitcase not selected. Time passed quickly and hardly any in
England we were again in Marienberg. But on this language trip
I will remember for a long time.

Hallo Lumich,
hier meine Antwort. Ich bin allerdings keine Expertin, sondern habe Englisch „nur“ als Hobby. Dennoch ändere ich den folgenden Text nach bestem Wissen:

Ich würde gerne wissen, ob die gramatik und die formulierungen
richtig geschrieben sind

.

On 6th of May, 2012 we started our trip from Marienberg to :London. We made a stop near Zwickau to change the bus drivers. From there we went to Calais in France. The busride to the harbour was very long and I tried to sleep.Unfortunately it was uncomfortably to sleep in the bus because of the narrowness of the seats.

At 5 o’clock we entered the ferry. I was

very excited, because I have never been on a ferry before. As we finally reached Dover, I was very happy to be back on solid ground.
On May 7, 2012 we proceeded from Dover to Greenwich. We got there at 9 o’clock. I was intrigued (?) by the prospect of London.(habe nicht verstanden, was gemeint ist…in einem Prospekt genannt vielleicht ?)
Before we could look at the zero meridian, we got a
bracelet. The first thing I wanted to do was to step on the zero meridian. I found out that the famous meridian was only a line. I saw a museum located on the meridian but I was not interested in it. Then we went to Madame
Tussauds(die richtige Schreibweise des Namens bitte nochmal googeln…). This wax museum was very versatile but also full of tourists as expected.I really did not like that. I watched a 4d movie which was very rousing.

From there we went to the Thames where
we had our meeting point in London. At about 6 pm we met our host families.Our guest family was very friendly and nice. The facility (der Ort, wo die Gastfamilie wohnt ist gemeint???) was outdated (oldfashioned?) but there was pizza for dinner. After all, I was happy to lie in a bed and fell asleep soon.
On May 8, 2012, I got up at 6 o’clock and got dressed. For breakfast I ate toast with fruit mixture

and I drank a very sweet mango juice. From the meeting point we went to London to pick up the travel guide who took us on a trip across London.It was quite fun to race (rennen??) at London --> to walk around London and
the tour guide always lead the way. Unfortunately we could not see the changing of the guards properly, because the place where the changing of the guards took place was crowded with tourists. After the tour we visited the :Tower of London and Tower Bridge. In the Tower of London, I
threw ten cents (wohin?)and I hoped that it would bring me luck.

By the way, I
ate also chips there, but they were very soft and :greasy.
As we returned home, we got mashed potatoes with beef, carrots and peas, which was very delicious.
On 9 May 2012,

I again got up at 6 o’clock and got dressed. For breakfast I had toast with fruit mixture and I drank very sweet mango juice. From the meeting place, we went to Windsor
Castle. Together with some of our teachers (?) I went to the elite school called Eton. The students were dressed in a very funny way.

I would not necessarily wear those kind of uniforms. Then we went to

Brighton.There was a very beautiful beach, where I collected
rocks (Felsen ???) stones. I ate bagels there for the first time. They were very tasty. At
about 5pm we went back home. And 7.30pm, we had pasta with meat balls for dinner. After dinner I packed my bags.On May 10th we had again toast with fruit mix.

This time we did not have to walk to the meeting point - we were taken there (by bus?)
As we were in London we had to take a test, from

Marble Arch to run the London Eye (habe ich nicht verstanden). This time we were also in
Hamleys, the biggest toys store of London.It was very big and also very amazing. We have passed the test and then we rode the London Eye. The view from a height of 132 m was great and very stunning. Then we had free (oder besser:spare)time again and during that time, we were going to see the Horse Guards and we also visited some souvenir shops. On 6 pm the London trip was over. We drove back to Dover to the ferry.We could not enter the ferry at once because customs had stopped us and selected six of our suitcases for control. I was quite excited, but luckily my

suitcase was not one of the selected suitcases. Time passed quickly and soon we were back home again in Marienberg.
I will remember this language trip for a long time for sure.

Gruß
polecat…