Englisch Essay mixed-race britain HILFE!

Sprachen Fremdsprachen
#1

Ich muss in Englisch ein Essay schreiben und ich möchte diesmal etwas wirklich gutes vorlesen, aber es soll jetzt nicht zu professionell rüberkommen, aber sehr gut.

Die Aufgabenstellung lautet:
You are going to write an essay discussing the statement: ''A completely mixed-race population would make a better society than separate ethnic groups. Think about the effect a mixed-race poulation could have ob issues like:

  • integration
  • peoples sense of identity
  • racial discrimination
  • how people are judged
  • local communities
  • individual cultures
  • …

Ich hoffe ihr könnt mir auf irgendeine Weise helfen, denn ich komm gar nicht vor ran bzw ich weiß nicht mal ob das ein essay ist und die aufgabenstellung erfüllt. zudem fehlen mir glaube ich pro und contras

As of late, you hear about mixed-race more and more often. This essay discusses the question if a completely mixed-race population would make a better society than seperate ethnic groups.
Ist das was ich bisher geschrieben habe überhaupt ein essay bzw erfüllt es die aufgabe?
As of late, you hear about mixed-race more and more often. This essay discusses the question if a completely mixed-race population would make a better society than seperate ethnic groups. Definetly relieves racism and brings understanding between different people. It also lets people firsthand explore other cultures or ideologies. But some aspects of the original culture are destroyed. Even if two people agree, there will be some aspects of their original cultures lost. For instance, if an Aryan and a hispanic mix, the children will not have full aspects of both cultures, rather they will inherit only certain aspects of the original cultures. I feel this will destroy diversity of people of Earth, and destroy the beautiful cultures on earth. But it is very astonishingly how people can integrate, but for some of them it could be very difficult, like to learn a new language. The problem is that as is often the case that the people without immigration backrounds judge the mixed-race people, because they are different by have maybe a different colour. But I don’t believe it relieves racism, after all, even if all people in the world mixed together, you would still have people that look white, black, asian, etc. just because one group of people mixes with another, doesn’t necessarily mean that their children will look „mixed“. As far as the cons go, cultures always come and go, new cultures replace them, and they will be diverse, they may share similar aspects but then again all cultures do but just because racial mixing may destroy one culture, doesn’t mean that the diversity will be destroyed, I believe that is impossible.

#2

Hallo „fuglyliar“,

als Ghostwriter stehe ich nicht zur Verfügung.

Gruß

U. Scheidel

#3

Hallo,
Wie will euer Lehrer denn, dass ihr Essays schreibt? Halte Dich daran. Bügel Deine Grammatik- und Sytaxfehler aus und Du hast ein gutes Essay.

Gruß
Larry

#4

Hi! Ihr habt doch sicher irgendwann den Aufbau eines Aufsatzes besprochen. Ich verstehe auch nicht, warum du nicht weißt, ob dein eigener Text pros und contras darstellt. Les ihn halt nochmal.
Bei Erörterung („discuss“) kann man die beiden Seiten getrennt voneinander darstellen, das ist einfacher, oder abwechselnd ein Argument der gegnerischen Seite darlegen und mit einem eigenen Argument widerlegen. Dabei die Wichtigkeit der Argumente steigern.
Aryan würde ich NICHT als Begriff verwenden; das waren die Nazis, die eine arische Rasse behauptet haben. „Caucasian“ ist zB ein Begriff, den man in USA verwendet.

As of late, you hear about mixed-race more and more often.
This essay discusses the question if a completely mixed-race
population would make a better society than seperate ethnic
groups.
Ist das was ich bisher geschrieben habe überhaupt ein essay
bzw erfüllt es die aufgabe?

Nein, es ist kein Essay. Es ist eine wenig gelungene Einleitung zu einem. Besser:
As of late, you hear about mixed-race more and more often. In welchem Zusammenhang? Wo?..
But would a completely mixed-race population make a better society than seperate ethnic groups?
Absätze sichtbar machen!
Definetly relieves racism and brings understanding

between different people. Komplett unverständlich!

It WHAT also lets people firsthand

explore other cultures or ideologies. Was hat das mit Ideologie zu tun? But some aspects of the
original culture are destroyed. Even if two people agree,
there will be some aspects of their original cultures lost.
For instance, if an Aryan and a hispanic mix, the children
will not have full aspects of both cultures, es gibt keine arische Kultur!!! rather they will
inherit only certain aspects of the original cultures. I feel
this will destroy diversity of people of Earth, and destroy
the beautiful cultures on earth. But it is very astonishingly
how people can integrate, but for some of them it could be
very difficult, like to learn a new language. The problem is
that as is often the case that the people without immigration
backrounds judge the mixed-race people, because they are
different by have maybe a different colour. But I don’t
believe it relieves racism, after all, even if all people in
the world mixed together, you would still have people that
look white, black, asian, etc. just because one group of
people mixes with another, doesn’t necessarily mean that their
children will look „mixed“. As far as the cons go, cultures
always come and go, new cultures replace them, and they will
be diverse, they may share similar aspects but then again all
cultures do but just because racial mixing may destroy one
culture, doesn’t mean that the diversity will be destroyed, I
believe that is impossible.

Du vermengst race und culture und ethnicity. mach dir erst klar, was das jeweils bedeutet. Man kann schwarz sein („race“), aber von der Kultur her der jüdischen Kultur angehören. Es gibt weiße und „schwarze“ Hispanics, usw.
(außerdem ist die Aufgabe bekloppt…)
Grüße

#5

Hallo,
ich helfe gerne. Aber wie dringend ist es ? Bitte schreiben,bis wann mein Kommentar fertig sein sollte.
Gruß Klaus

Ich muss in Englisch ein Essay schreiben und ich möchte
diesmal etwas wirklich gutes vorlesen, aber es soll jetzt
nicht zu professionell rüberkommen, aber sehr gut.

#6

Sehr wichtig…
Am besten bis Freitag… irgendwie habe ich die Aufgabe falsch gemacht, und die Grammatik ist auch nicht korrekt. Zudem fehlen mir noch Pro- und Contra Argumente…
Ich habe auch eine kleine Korrektur bekommen:
Den Punkt von dir, dass Kulturen bei der Integration teilweise verlorengehen, finde ich gut. Es besteht auf jeden Fall die Gefahr. Wichtig wäre zu erwähnen, dass es die perfekte Integration z.B. in den USA („melting pot“ ) nicht gibt, manche Mexikaner wollen über die Grenze. Aber vielleicht ist die perfekte Integration nicht so schlecht bzw. nicht unbedingt ein wünschenswertes Ziel. Integration aber nicht mit Verlust der eigenen Identität usw. Beispiel England, in London (in anderen Städten nicht so) gibt es viele verschiedene Rassen, Völker zusammen, das klappt sehr gut in den Schulen usw. Kinder lernen die Sprache schnell, sind fleissig. Aber es gab die race riots 2011, nicht nur in London, also ist alles nicht perfekt, Einwanderer fühlen sich benachteiligt. Fazit: Man sollte im Aufsatz ein paar Beispiele nennen.
Kleine Korrektur:
As of late … besser: Recently, there has been a lot of discussion about mixed race (oder mixed-race population
separate (mit „a“
reduces racism
will not have full aspects of both cultures … besser: will not absorb every aspect of both cultures
the diversity of this … besser: the diversity on this planet oder of the people on this earth
it lets people explore other … firsthand.
It is very astonishing (astonishingly ist ein Adverb) how well some people …
but for some of them it could be very difficult, like to learn … besser: but for others it is very difficult, for example learning a …
is that as is often the case - besser: is it is often the case
Asian, Hispanic (gross schreiben)
As far as the cons go - besser weglassen, man sagt nur „the pros and cons“.

#7

Ich meinte bis Sonntag.

#8

As of late, you hear about mixed-race (more and more often). This essay discusses the question if a completely mixed-race population would make a better society than seperate ethnic groups.
Ist das was ich bisher geschrieben habe überhaupt ein essay bzw erfüllt es die aufgabe?
As of late, you hear about mixed-race (mixed-raxe What???) more and more often. This essay discusses the question if a completely mixed-race population would make a better society than seperate ethnic groups. Definetly relieves racism and brings understanding between different people(Where is the subject in this sentence???)(. At first it also lets people firsthand(?) explore other cultures or ideologies(Keine deutsche Satzstellung ins Englische übertragen!Stellung der adverbialen Bestimmungen im Englischen beachten!!!). But some aspects of the original culture are destroyed. Even if two people agree, there will be some aspects of their original cultures lost(keine DEUTSCHE Satzstelung im Englischen!)some aspects of their original culture will get lost). For instance, if an Aryan and a hispanic mix, the children will not have full aspects of both cultures, rather they will inherit only certain aspects of the original cultures. I feel this will destroy diversity of peoples (people=Leute, peoples=Völker) of Earth, and destroy the beautiful cultures on earth. But it is very astonishing how people can integrate, but (however) for some of them it could be very difficult, like(to learn)learning a new language. The problem will be(is) as (that) it is often the case that the people without immigration backrounds judge the mixed-race people, because they are different by maybe having a different colour. But I don’t believe it relieves (bitte Bedeutung überprüfen:to relieve, nicht in „Langenscheid“-Wörterbuch,besser dict.cc, leo.org, etc) racism, after all, even if all people in the world mixed together, you would still have people that look white, black, asian, etc. just because one group of people mixes with another(Kommaregel im Englischen: in case of doubt leave out!) doesn’t necessarily mean that their children will look „mixed“. As far as the cons go, cultures always come and go, new cultures replace them, and they will be diverse, they may share similar aspects but then again all cultures do (do what???) but just because racial mixing may destroy one culture, doesn’t mean that the diversity will be destroyed, I believe that is impossible (to do what???)

Ein Rat am Rande: Halte Dich an die englische Satzstellung und vermeide lange Sätze wie im Deutschen. Mache lieber 2 kurze englische Sätze aus einem langen deutschen Satz.

#9

Hallo,
der essay ist so zu wenig strukturiert, d.h. es werden pro und contra abwechselnd und durcheinander kurz angedeutet. Wie in der Aufgabenstellung sollten die Aspekte des Themas „mixed-race Britain“ nacheinder abgehandelt werden und zwar zunächst eine Erklärung was z.B. mit „integration“ gemeint ist,dann „people’s sense of identity“. Was ist damit gemeint ? usw. Erst dann in die Problematik einsteigen und zwar erst alle „pro“ Aspekte erörtern, dann alle „contra“ Aspekte.
Zum Schluß eine Zusammenfassung und eine eigene Stellungnahme.Und vor allem: Das Thema auf Großbritannien eingrenzen, wie in der Aufgabenstellung.
Was heißt z.B.„Aryan“ oder was sind „beautiful cultures“ ? Das muss erklärt werden. So sind das nichtssagende Worthülsen.
Die grammatischen Fehler wurden ja schon angesprochen und korrigiert.
Gruß Klaus

Ich meinte bis Sonntag.

#10

Tut mir Leid falls ich nerve oder ähnliches, aber wäre das so gut?

Recently, there has been a lot of heated discussion about mixed race. Before the question whether a completely mixed-race population would make a better society than separate ethnic groups is discussed, it is important to realize a few basic points. First, it is not easy to define race, and to different people it means different things. Second, it is not even clear that separate ethnic groups exist. Purity of race as such does not exist because immigration has been so widespread really since the beginning of time. This raises the next question of when immigrants become truly integrated – is it from the 2nd or 3rd generation? But that is another issue we cannot discuss further here. So how might then a society become better? Is it in economic terms? Or just in terms of a greater multi-cultural diversity?
Britain has been described as multi-ethnic or multi-cultural. In 2001, more than 3 million people (about 5.5% of the population) belonged to ethnic minorities. Similarly, the USA has been called a nation of immigrants. Race riots and racial discrimination make it clear that prejudice is very often just beneath the surface. Such riots are often the result of lack of education and job opportunities. Commonwealth citizens were allowed to settle in the UK up to the 1960s, but this free access was stopped and laws such as the Immigration Act in 1971 were passed. But laws alone cannot enforce assimilation. This may point to an innate lack of possibility of total integration. But it cannot be denied that migrant workers are very often willing to do menial work that others won’t do. The children of immigrants work hard at school and try to succeed. On another level, immigrants very often bring their know-how and knowledge, which can also contribute to the economic growth of a country, which is positive.
On the one hand, if a white person and a person of Hispanic origin mix, their children may not absorb every aspect of both culture, rather they will inherit only certain aspects of the original cultures. Some aspects are bound to be lost. On the other, a certain diversity is added enriching the original culture. It is hard to say whether there is a net gain or loss. But people from such a background are usually at an advantage, especially if they grow up speaking both languages, in that they can explore other cultures and ways of thinking firsthand. They can understand society better, are more tolerant and are better able to cope in life.
There is no doubt that cultures that mix more will have more racial discrimination. That is the price modern societies pay. Discrimination can come in many forms, it may be just comments about a person’s colour or their accent. It may be due to the government’s laws or polices, as was the case with South Africa’s Apartheid regime and the segregation polices in schools and elsewhere in the USA up to the 50s. But, sooner or later, there is a process of assimilation. While it is true that some people have more difficulty learning the language of their hosts than others, and some languages are indeed harder to learn as well than others. This is not such a long-term potential barrier to (total) integration as say colour or appearance. This is because people may be quicker to judge others based on what they see rather than on what qualifications these people have.
A large influx of foreign workers, as seen in say London, will bring changes. Of course, such changes are not new and have been going on for a long time. But, fears that a local community may become overrun with foreigners are unfounded.
Racial intermingling may destroy the original culture, but it is far more likely to also add to it than change it.
In conclusion, a mixed-race population could make a better society overall than separate ethnic groups. Britain, the USA or Germany, where there has been a high level of immigration, are successful economically. They also have a high level of tolerance towards other cultures and religions, which helps reduce racism in the world. But, racial discrimination will still exist in such societies, so there will always be work to do. Maybe that is the price of their economic success and cultural diversity.

#11

Hallo, das ist nach meiner Einschätzung so weit iO.Ich habe in den Text nur einige kleinere grammatische und stilistische Änderungen eingefügt.

Tut mir Leid falls ich nerve oder ähnliches, aber wäre das so gut?

Recently, there has been a lot of heated discussion about mixed race. Before I discuss the question of whether a completely mixed-race population would make a better society than separate ethnic groups, it is important to realize a few basic points. First, it is not easy to define race, and to different people it means different things. (Der Begriff „Rasse“ ist heute nicht mehr üblich )
Secondly, it is not even clear wether there exist separate ethnic groups. Purity of race as such does not exist because immigration has really been so widespread since the beginning of time. This raises the next question of when immigrants become truly integrated – is it from the 2nd or 3rd generation onwards? But that is another issue we cannot discuss any further. So how then might a society become better? Is it in economic terms? Or just in terms of a greater multi-cultural diversity?
Britain has been described as multi-ethnic or multi-cultural.In 2001, more than 3 million people (about 5.5% of the population) belonged to ethnic minorities. Similarly, the USA has been called a nation of immigrants.(Hier sollten Sie kurz auf den problematischen Begriff des „melting pot"bzw.des"salad bowl“ eingehen) Race riots and racial discrimination show that prejudice is very often just beneath the surface. Such riots are often the result of lack of education and job opportunities. Commonwealth citizens were allowed to settle in the UK up to the 1960s, but this free access was stopped and laws such as the Immigration Act in 1971 were passed. But laws alone cannot enforce assimilation.(Was ist das genau, im Unterschied zu „integration“?) This may point to an innate lack of possibility of total integration.(Ist die überhaupt wünschenswert ? Assimilation oder Integration ?) But it cannot be denied that migrant workers are very often willing to do menial work that others are not willing to do. Mostly, the children of immigrants work hard at school and try to succeed.
On another level, immigrants very often bring their know-how and knowledge, which can also contribute to the economic growth of a country, which is positive.On the one hand, if a European person and a person of African,Indian or Asian origin mix, their children may not absorb every aspect of both cultures, they will rather inherit only certain aspects of the original culture. Some aspects are bound to be lost. On the
other hand, a certain diversity is added thus enriching the original culture. It is not easy to say whether there is a net gain or loss. But people from such a background are usually at an advantage, especially if they grow up speaking both languages.
Thus they can explore other cultures and ways of thinking firsthand. They can understand society better, are more tolerant and are better able to cope in life.
There is no doubt that cultures that mix more will have more racial discrimination. That is the price modern societies have to pay.
Discrimination can come in many forms, it may be just comments about a person’s skin colour or his or her accent. It may be due to the government’s laws or polices, as was the case with South Africa’s Apartheid regime and the segregation polices in schools and elsewhere in the USA in the 1950s. But, sooner or later, there will be a process of assimilation (or integration ?). While it is true that some people have more difficulty learning the language of their host country than others, and some languages are indeed more difficult to learn than others. This is not such a long-term
potential barrier to (total) integration as e.g. colour or appearance. This is because people may be quicker to judge others based on what they see rather than on what qualifications these people have. That’s the way prejudice comes about. A large influx of foreign workers, as seen in London e.g., will bring changes.(Welche ?) Of course, such changes are not new and have
been going on for a long time. But, fears that a local
community may become overrun with foreigners are unfounded.
Racial intermingling may destroy the original culture, but it is far more likely that it also adds to it in a positive way than changes it for the worse.
In conclusion, a mixed-race population could make a better society by and large than separate ethnic groups. Britain, the USA or Germany, where there has been a high level of immigration,are economically successful. They also have a higher level of
tolerance towards other cultures and religions, which may also help reducing racism in the world. But, racial discrimination will still exist in such societies, so there lies still a lot of educational work ahead. That may be the price of their economic success and cultural diversity.

#12

Englisch Essay mixed-race britain HILFE!!!
Was ein Essay ist / sein soll findest du hier: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Essay - gibt es auch in deutsch.
Das Thema ist sicherlich nicht einfach, aber du solltest dir grundsätzlich mal klar werden, wie du darüber denkst, was deine Meinung dazu ist, und das erst mal auf deutsch aufschreiben und vielleicht mit anderen darüber diskutieren.
Und das Gefundene dann dem Sinn nach, nicht Wort für Wort, ins Englische übertragen.
Nebenbei bemerkt, Mixed race ist nicht nur in Britain ein Thema, das Thema stellt sich überall, auch bei uns.

#13

tut mir leid, dass ich die Mail erst jetzt gelesen habe. Wahrscheinlich ist es jetzt zu spät für eine Antwort.
Klandy