Englisch Gramatik, nur kurz überfliegen ob das ok

Hi,
ich wollte mal fragen, ob mir jemand mal hier drüber schauen kann udn sagen kann, ob ich den text so meiner lehrerin abegeben kann oder eher nicht.
danke im vorraus :smile:
No. 6.) Text
“Give a Boy a Gun” is a interesting title. Its sounds exciting
The story is consist of exciting main characters and some parts
consist of difficult
Slang. Gary and his friends chat sometimes (“…TerminX; Ever C a dead
person? Blkchokr: In
A casket?..”,pages 86), (“…Rebooto: U guys need 2 make a smart bomb.
Dayzd:
Smart bomb 4 dumb jocks.”, pages 98).

No. 7.) Education Aspects
The novel “Give a Boy a Gun” is addres for young adults in age of 14.
It would be wise to read the book in the school. Its thematized
important topics and
perhaps their are in a reading mood. And teachers can use the book to
make a
lesson to talk about mobbing or school rampage. After that the
teacher and the class can
agitate about solving problems.

Main topic
The main topic in the book is mobbing.
Through tease a person accrues hate and desire to take revenge.
The jocks tease the outsiders all the time and nobody say anything.
Teachers look away and don’t try to help.
Kids can get wrong role model. Gary’s and Brendan’s rolde models are
the
Two pupils, who started the rampage in Littleton.

No. 8.) Additional Comments
Relationship between people

Many young adults are able to identify with Brendan and Gary.
Brendan has a worse relationship to his parents. They annoy Brendan,
but they only trying
to help Brendan. Garys relationship to his father is not available.
After the divorce his father
does not contact him.
Gary and Brendan have a real friendship. They always help each other
and it seems that the two of them only come as package. And the
relation in the Middleton High Schoole are the same like in real
life. So there are the popular football players and the outsiders.
The cool pupils and the uncool pupils.

Authors message
(… “to ending youth violence. To every young person who has ever
been killed
or wounded by a gun…” pages 5).
Parents should take care of their children, teachers sould help
pupils!
Is there violence? Is someboday sad or depressive? How can I help?
No one should look away!

No. 9.) Personal Statement/comment

In my opinion is the book “Give a Boy a Gun” one of the best novel
I’d ever read.
I liked as well the different and special characters of the story. It
was easy for me to put the names to the different figures together.
And I remembered them quickly, also in the beginning. It is easy to
read and specific written for teenager.
The book is about very important themes and as far as I can see,
speak the society to less
about such themes. The point in the book is the growing brutality and
criminality, misbehavior from the teachers, mobbing and despair from
outsiders.
Its importent to think about the motives of Gary and Brendan. Nobody
should look away,
when he see that someone is tease by an other person. Teachers should
to step in a fight.
Maybe they should take a look at the outsiders and try to help them
and pay attention.
This book made me turn pages for hours. And honestly I have to say
that I had to cry
in the because the helplessness and despair of Gary and Brendan made
me sad.

Hi,

die Grammatik holpert noch an so manchen Stellen! Schaue Dir z.B. noch mal die Verben, den Gebrauch der Zeiten etc an.
Gruß Bubs
________________________________________

ei S:ich wollte mal fragen, ob mir jemand mal hier drüber schauen

kann udn sagen kann, ob ich den text so meiner lehrerin
abegeben kann oder eher nicht.
danke im vorraus :smile:
No. 6.) Text
“Give a Boy a Gun” is a interesting title. Its sounds exciting
The story is consist of exciting main characters and some
parts
consist of difficult
Slang. Gary and his friends chat sometimes (“…TerminX; Ever C
a dead
person? Blkchokr: In
A casket?..”,pages 86), (“…Rebooto: U guys need 2 make a
smart bomb.
Dayzd:
Smart bomb 4 dumb jocks.”, pages 98).

No. 7.) Education Aspects
The novel “Give a Boy a Gun” is addres for young adults in age
of 14.
It would be wise to read the book in the school. Its
thematized
important topics and
perhaps their are in a reading mood. And teachers can use the
book to
make a
lesson to talk about mobbing or school rampage. After that the
teacher and the class can
agitate about solving problems.

Main topic
The main topic in the book is mobbing.
Through tease a person accrues hate and desire to take
revenge.
The jocks tease the outsiders all the time and nobody say
anything.
Teachers look away and don’t try to help.
Kids can get wrong role model. Gary’s and Brendan’s rolde
models are
the
Two pupils, who started the rampage in Littleton.

No. 8.) Additional Comments
Relationship between people

Many young adults are able to identify with Brendan and Gary.
Brendan has a worse relationship to his parents. They annoy
Brendan,
but they only trying
to help Brendan. Garys relationship to his father is not
available.
After the divorce his father
does not contact him.
Gary and Brendan have a real friendship. They always help each
other
and it seems that the two of them only come as package. And
the
relation in the Middleton High Schoole are the same like in
real
life. So there are the popular football players and the
outsiders.
The cool pupils and the uncool pupils.

Authors message
(… “to ending youth violence. To every young person who has
ever
been killed
or wounded by a gun…” pages 5).
Parents should take care of their children, teachers sould
help
pupils!
Is there violence? Is someboday sad or depressive? How can I
help?
No one should look away!

No. 9.) Personal Statement/comment

In my opinion is the book “Give a Boy a Gun” one of the best
novel
I’d ever read.
I liked as well the different and special characters of the
story. It
was easy for me to put the names to the different figures
together.
And I remembered them quickly, also in the beginning. It is
easy to
read and specific written for teenager.
The book is about very important themes and as far as I can
see,
speak the society to less
about such themes. The point in the book is the growing
brutality and
criminality, misbehavior from the teachers, mobbing and
despair from
outsiders.
Its importent to think about the motives of Gary and Brendan.
Nobody
should look away,
when he see that someone is tease by an other person. Teachers
should
to step in a fight.
Maybe they should take a look at the outsiders and try to help
them
and pay attention.
This book made me turn pages for hours. And honestly I have to
say
that I had to cry
in the because the helplessness and despair of Gary and
Brendan made
me sad.

Hier die korrigierte Fassung:

No. 6.) Text
“Give a Boy a Gun” is an interesting title. Its sounds exciting
The story consists of exciting main characters and some parts
consist of difficult
slang. Gary and his friends chat sometimes (“…TerminX; Ever C a dead
person? Blkchokr: In
A casket?..”,pages 86), (“…Rebooto: U guys need 2 make a smart bomb.
Dayzd:
Smart bomb 4 dumb jocks.”, pages 98).

No. 7.) Education Aspects
The novel “Give a Boy a Gun” addresses young adults at the age of 14.
It would be wise to read the book in school. It deals with
important topics and
perhaps they are in a reading mood. And teachers can use the book to
make a
lesson to talk about mobbing or school rampages. After that the
teacher and the class can
agitate about solving problems.

Main topic
The main topic in the book is mobbing.
Through tease a person accrues hate and desire to take revenge.
The jocks tease the outsiders all the time and nobody says anything.
Teachers look away and don’t try to help.
Kids see a wrong role model. Gary’s and Brendan’s role models are
the
two pupils, who started the rampage in Littleton.

No. 8.) Additional Comments
Relationship between people

Many young adults are able to identify with Brendan and Gary.
Brendan has a bad relationship to his parents. They annoy Brendan,
but they are only trying
to help Brendan. Gary’s relationship to his father is not existant.
After the divorce his father
does not contact him.
Gary and Brendan have a real friendship. They always help each other
and it seems that the two of them only come as package. And the
relation in the Middleton High School are the same as in real
life. So there are the popular football players and the outsiders.
The cool pupils and the uncool pupils.

Authors message
(… “to ending youth violence. To every young person who has ever
been killed
or wounded by a gun…” pages 5).
Parents should take care of their children, teachers sould help
pupils!
Is there violence? Is someboday sad or depressive? How can I help?
No one should look away!

No. 9.) Personal Statement/comment

In my opinion the book “Give a Boy a Gun” is one of the best novels
I’ve ever read.
I liked as well the different and special characters of the story. It
was easy for me to put the names to the different figures together.
And I remembered them quickly, also in the beginning. It is easy to
read and specificallx written for teenagers.
The book is about very important themes and as far as I can see,
society is not concerned enough
about such themes. The point in the book is the growing brutality and
criminality, misbehavior from the teachers, mobbing and despair from
outsiders.
Its important to think about the motives of Gary and Brendan. Nobody
should look away,
when he sees that someone is mobbed by another person. Teachers should
interfere with pupils who are fighting.
Maybe they should take a look at the outsiders and try to help them
and pay attention.
This book made me turn pages for hours. And honestly I have to say
that I had to cry
because the helplessness and despair of Gary and Brendan made
me sad.

Hallo EleElla

Hm. Inhaltlich ist das prima. Ich weiβ jetzt in etwa, was in dem Roman steht und was Du davon hältst. Vom Englischen her find ich’s nicht so gut. Es sind etliche Fehler drin, und es gibt Stellen, die klingen so, als hättest Du sie von einem Übersetzungsprogramm machen lassen bzw als hättest Du sie eins zu eins mit Hilfe eines Wörterbuches vom Deutschen ins Englische übersetzt. Druck’s Dir doch noch mal aus und lies es sorgfältig durch (am Bildschirm sieht man die meisten Fehler nicht), dann wirst Du selbst noch Etliches korrigieren können.

Herzliche Grüβe,
mac

hi, seltsame Texte … prima Wortschatz, geübte Formulierungen - und dann komische Denglisch-Brocken und sowas von offensichtliche Fehler. Scheint eher ein Ich-teste-meinen-Pauker-Text zu sein. Mit mal drüber schauen ist es jedenfalls nicht getan. Was die Lehrerin sagt, hängt von Klasse und Niveau ab.
LG
Burghart

Hallo, warum ich angefragt werde, ist mir ein Rätsel: ich habe von englischer Sprache etc. keine Ahnung.

Gruß, Katharina