Englisch Text Verbesserung / Referet

Hallo ihr lieben,

muss am Dienstag einen 5 minütigen Referat halten und mit dem jeweiligen Thema eine Diskussion einführen, diese sollte die gesamte Lektion ausfüllen.

Nun würde ich mich sehr über eine Verbesserung meines Textes freuen. Rechtschreibfehler sind nicht so wichtig ( ausser bei Mehrzahl „s“ vergessen) eher die Zeiten und Grammtik…
wäre sehr dankbar!

hello everybody
If you have any questions, feel free to interrupt me or ask me them at the end.
So my presentation is about alcohol but mainly about teenagers drinking.
Alcohol is a part of most people lives from their teens onwards.(ab) Experience with alcohol begins at an early age, typically in the form of a glass of wine shared with parents.
…im sure this situation is well-known by you (? )
Children’s behaviour and attitudes are strongly influenced by their parents and the world around them, but also by media… It’s the parents responsibility to teach their kids to drink sensibly(=vernünftig) Parents who don’t allow their children to drink at home turn a blind eye to their drinking at parties where there is no adult supervision(aufsicht). But however socially acceptable, wide-spread(=weit verbrietet) and common(=üblich) alcohol is, it is still a dangerous drug But infortunately this point doesn’t hold teenagers up(=aufhalten) to drink. Alcohol is a legal drug and you can get it if you really want it, it doesn´t matter how old you are.
Mainly the reason of teenage drinking is, that many young people have problems, they have problems with their parents, in school with friends or because of group pressure.

But still Alcohol is not the key to enjoying yourself. It lowers your inhibitions(=hemmungen) and makes you merry(beschwipst,spassig) for a short time. It also makes it harder to co-ordinate (=koordineren) or to reason(=vernünftig reden/sein). Pretty soon you are behaving in a way you would never dream of normally, or you are starting to feel dizzy(=schwindelig) or being sick. Staying sober(=nüchtern bleiben) has more benefits(=vorteile) than you might realise. You have nothing to regret (bedauern) the next morning because you have been in control all night. . They don’t understand the risks they are taking. As a result they get drunk, lose their inhibitions(hemmungen), become violent, drink and drive

The alcoholic illness grows slowly over years. A teenager who doesn´t consume much alcohol now, could be involved in the apparently harmless legal drug alcohol in a couple of years. My opinion about alcohol is, that many of the people aren’t aware of the dangher of alcohol, alcohol is a drug. It´s legal, but it´s still a drug and the number of alcohol adicted peopel is growing and growing.

1.) What do you think are more reasons why teenagers are drinking?
2.) Why do shops and petrol stations still sell alcohol to minors(0minderjährige) and break the law?
3.) Should we offer an enlightenment ?
4.) The alcohol producers offer more and more alcohol drinks with different tastes,coulours and tempt (locken) teenagers with new designs. You think its a good idea? Should it be forbidden by law?
5.) Is it a hopeless situation or could we do something? I mean at the end it’s in their own hands…

Hallo ihr lieben,

muss am Dienstag einen 5 minütigen Referat halten und mit dem
jeweiligen Thema eine Diskussion einführen, diese sollte die
gesamte Lektion ausfüllen.

Nun würde ich mich sehr über eine Verbesserung meines Textes
freuen. Rechtschreibfehler sind nicht so wichtig ( ausser bei
Mehrzahl „s“ vergessen) eher die Zeiten und Grammtik…
wäre sehr dankbar!

hello everybody
If you have any questions, feel free to interrupt me or ask me at the end.

My presentation is about alcohol but mainly about teenagers

drinking.
Alcohol is a part of most people lives from their teens
onwards.(ab) Experience with alcohol begins at an early age,
typically in the form of a glass of wine shared with parents.
I ´m sure this situation is well-known to you (? )
Children’s behaviour and attitudes are strongly influenced by
their parents and the social groups around them, but also by media (advertising !)
It’s the parent´ s responsibility to teach their kids to drink
sensibly(=vernünftig) Parents who don’t allow their children
to drink at home turn a blind eye to their drinking at parties
where there is no adult supervision(aufsicht). But however
socially acceptable, wide-spread(=weit verbreitet) and
common(=üblich) alcohol is, it is still a dangerous drug! But
unfortunately this point doesn’t stop teenagers
to drink. Alcohol is a legal drug and you can
get it if you really want it, it doesn´t matter how old you
are.
Mainly the reason of teenage drinking is, that many young
people have problems, they have problems with their parents,
in school with friends or because of group pressure.

But still Alcohol is not the key to enjoying yourself. It
lowers your inhibitions(=hemmungen) and makes you
merry(beschwipst,spassig) for a short time. It also makes it
harder to co-ordinate (=koordineren) or to talk in a proper way. Pretty soon you are behaving in a way you would
never dream of , or you are starting to feel
dizzy(=schwindelig) or being sick. Staying sober(=nüchtern
bleiben) has more benefits(=vorteile) than you might realise.
You have nothing to regret (bedauern) the next morning because
you have been in control all night. . They don’t understand
the risks they are taking. As a result they get drunk, lose
their inhibitions(hemmungen), become violent, drink and drive

The alcoholic illness grows slowly over years. A teenager who
doesn´t consume much alcohol now, could be involved in the
apparently harmless legal drug alcohol in a couple of years.
My opinion about alcohol is, that many of the people aren’t
aware of the danger of alcohol, alcohol is a drug. It´s
legal, but it´s still a drug and the number of alcohol adicted
people is increasing !!

1.) What do you think are more reasons why teenagers are
drinking?
2.) Why do shops and petrol stations still sell alcohol to
minors(0minderjährige) and break the law?
3.) Should we offer an enlightenment ?
4.) The alcohol producers offer more and more alcohol drinks
with different tastes,coulours and tempt (locken) teenagers
with new designs. You think its a good idea? Should it be
forbidden by law?
5.) Is it a hopeless situation or could we do something? I think at the end it’s in their own hands…

Hallo, wreeds

ich habe meine Änderungsvorschläge in deinem Text durch GROSSBUCHSTABEN kenntlich gemacht und Anmerkungen in eckigen Klammern [] geschrieben.

Hoffentlich hilft es dir.

Viel Erfolg bei deinem Vortrag.

Gruß,

Claus

hello everybody
If you have any questions, feel free to interrupt [ohne „me“] or ask [ohne „me“] them at the end.
So my presentation is about alcohol AND FOCUSES ON teenagers drinking.
Alcohol is a part of most people lives from their teens onwards.(ab) Experience with alcohol begins at an early age, typically in the form of a glass of wine shared with parents.
…im sure YOU KNOW THIS FROM YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE (? )
Children’s behaviour and attitudes are strongly influenced by their parents and the world around them, but also by media… It’s the parents responsibility to teach their kids to drink sensibly(=vernünftig) [vielleicht wäre hier „responsibly“ (= verantwortungsvoll) besser] Parents who don’t allow their children to drink at home turn a blind eye to their drinking at parties where there is no adult supervision(aufsicht). But however socially acceptable, wide-spread(=weit verbrietet) and common(=üblich) alcohol is, it is still a dangerous drug But Unfortunately this point doesn’t KEEP TEENAGERS FROM DRINKING. Alcohol is a legal drug and you can get it if you really want [kein „it“], NO matter how old you are.
Mainly the reason of teenage drinking is, that many young people have problems, they have problems with their parents, in school with friends or because of group pressure.

But still Alcohol is not the key to enjoying yourself. It lowers your inhibitions(=hemmungen) and makes you merry(beschwipst,spassig) for a short time. It also makes it harder to co-ordinate (=koordineren) or to reason(=vernünftig reden/sein). Pretty soon you are behaving in a way you would never dream of normally, or you are starting to feel dizzy(=schwindelig) or being sick. Staying sober(=nüchtern bleiben) has more benefits(=vorteile) than you might realise. You have nothing to regret (bedauern) the next morning because you have been in control all night. . They don’t understand the risks they are taking. As a result they get drunk, lose their inhibitions(hemmungen), become violent, drink and drive

The alcoholic DISEASE grows slowly over years. A teenager who doesn´t consume much alcohol now, could be involved in THIS SEEMINGLY harmless legal drug [„alcohol“ gelöscht] A COUPLE OF YEARS LATER IN HIS OR HER LIFE. My opinion about alcohol is, that many of the people aren’t aware of the dangher of alcohol, alcohol is a drug. It´s legal, but it´s still a drug and the number of PEOPLE ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL is growing and growing.

1.) What do you think are more reasons why teenagers are drinking?
2.) Why do shops and petrol stations still sell alcohol to minors(0minderjährige) and break the law?
3.) Should we offer an enlightenment ?
4.) The alcohol producers offer more and more alcohol drinks with different tastes,coulours and tempt (locken) teenagers with new designs. You think its a good idea? Should it be forbidden by law?
5.) Is it a hopeless situation or could we do something? I mean at the end it’s in their own hands… … mehr auf http://www.wer-weiss-was.de/app/query/display_query?..

Good morning (afternoon)

My presentation is about alcohol abuse, mainly about teenagers drinking habits. (If you have any questions, (feel free to interrupt me) or ask me them at the end.) Diesen Satz würde ich nicht sagen, oder am Schluss, denn Sie werden keinen Satz oder Gedanken zu Ende machen können!)
Alcohol belongs to most people lifes, starting already in their young days. Experience with alcohol begins at an early age, typically in the form of a glass of wine shared with the parents. Maybe you know this situation. Children’s behaviour and attitudes are strongly influenced by their parents and their surrounding, but also by media. It is the parent`s responsibility to teach their kids the sensible handling of alcohol. Parents who do not allow their children to drink at home turn a blind eye to their drinking at parties where there is no adult controlling them. However socially accepted, all-round and common practice alcohol is still a dangerous drug. But unfortunately this fact doesn’t stop teenagers to drink. Alcohol is a legal drug and you can get it if you really want it, no matter how old you are. (Stimmt nicht ganz)
The main reason why teenagers drink is that many young people have problems, for example with their parents, in school, with friends or because of the pressure of the group they belong to, or want to belong to.

Still Alcohol is not the key (to handle ones life) to enjoying yourself. It lowers your repression and makes you tipsy for a short time. It also makes it harder to coordinate your movements or to phrase yourself. Pretty soon you are behaving in a way one would not have ever dreamed of normally and will be ashamed of later. You are feeling dizzy or are sick. Staying sober has more pros than you might think. There is nothing to regret the next morning because you have been in control all night. Most people are not aware of the risks they are taking. As a result they get drunk, are uninhibited, become violent, drink and drive

Alcoholism creeps slowly into your life. A teenager who doesn’t consume much alcohol in young age, does not mean that he or she would not be addicted to that apparently harmless legal drug alcohol in a couple of years. My opinion about alcohol is that many people are not aware of the danger of alcohol. Alcohol is a drug! Ok, it is legal, but it is still a drug and the number of alcohol addicts is growing and growing.

Now let me ask you some questions:

1.) What do you think are other reasons why teenagers are drinking?
2.) Why do shops and petrol stations still sell alcohol to underage people and break the law?
3.) Should we offer more enlightenment and would it help?
4.) The alcohol producers offer more and more alcoholic drinks with different tastes, colours and entrap teenagers with new designs. You think it is a good idea? (was meinen Sie damit?) Should it be forbidden by law? (Was, der Verkauf, die Herstellung, die Werbung?)
5.) Is the situation already hopeless or could something been done? If so, what?

In my opinion the consumption of alcohol it is in everybody’s own hand.

Thank you for listening! If you have any questions or comments, please fell free to ask.

Viel Glück beim Vortrag!
VG
Gisela

hello everybody
If you have any questions, feel free to interrupt me or ask them at the end.
So my presentation is about alcohol but mainly about teenagers drinking excessively.
Alcohol is a part of most peoples lives from their teens onwards. Experience with alcohol typically begins at an early age, mostly in the form of a glass of wine shared with the parents.
…I´m sure several of you have experienced this in one form or the other (? )
Children’s behaviour and attitudes are strongly influenced by their parents and the world around them, but also by the media…
It’s the parents responsibility to teach their kids to drink reasonably. Parents who don’t allow their children to drink at home often turn a blind eye to their drinking at parties where there is no adult supervision. But however socially acceptable, wide-spread and common alcohol is, it is still a dangerous drug. Unfortunately, this doesn’t keep teenagers from drinking. Alcohol is a legal drug and you can get it if you really want it, it doesn´t matter how old you are.
The main reason of teenage drinking is, that many young
people have problems, they have problems with their parents, in school with friends or because of group pressure (alternativ: peer pressure).

Nevertheless, Alcohol is not the key to enjoying yourself. It lowers your inhibitions and makes you
merry (tipsy) for a short time. It also makes it
harder to coordinate or to argue reasonably . Pretty soon you are behaving in a way you would
never dream of normally, or you are starting to feel
dizzy or sick. Staying sober has more benefits than you might realise.
You have nothing to regret the next morning because
you have been in control all night.
The excessively drinking teens don’t understand the risks they are taking. As a result they get heavily drunk, lose their inhibitions, become violent, or drink and drive.
An alcohol addiction grows slowly over years. A teenager who doesn´t consume much alcohol now, could be involved in the apparently harmless legal drug alcohol in a couple of years.
My opinion about alcohol is, that many of the people aren’t aware of the dangers of alcohol, alcohol is a drug. It´s legal, but it´s still a drug and the number of alcohol adicted people is growing and growing.

1.) What do you think are more reasons why teenagers are drinking?
2.) Why do shops and petrol stations still sell alcohol to minors and break the law?
3.) Should we offer more/better information?
4.) The alcohol producers offer more and more alcoholic beverages with different tastes, colours and tempt teenagers with new designs. Do you think that this is a good idea? Or should it be forbidden by law?
5.) Is it a hopeless situation or could we do something? I mean, in the end it’s in their own hands…

„They“ wurde ersetzt mit „The excessively drinking teens“, um den Kontext nicht zu verlieren.

Bei Punkt 3 habe ich „enlightenment“ mit „information“ ausgetauscht, ich denke dass ist gemeint. Enlightenment ist zwar auch „Aufklärung“ (sollte es wohl sein) aber eher in Richtung „Erleuchtung“…

Ansonsten habe ich einige kleine Dinge umformuliert oder ergänzt.

Hoffe, das hilft.

greets,
Solanum

Sorry, ich bin gerade im Urlaub und kann Dir aus diesem Grund nicht helfen. Ich hoffe, jemand anderes kann Dir weiterhelfen.
Gruss Johanna

Hallo,

ich würde den Text zunächst einfach sorgfältig lesen und dabei Flüchtigkeitsfehler korrigieren.
Dass das hier jemand gratis für Dich macht, ist vielleicht etwas viel erwartet.

Ich würde im ersten Absatz jedenfalls folgende Änderungen anbringen:
„hello everybody
If you have any questions, feel free to interrupt me or to ask them at the end.
So my presentation is about alcohol but mainly about teenagers drinking.
Alcohol is a part of most people’s lives from their teens on. Experiences with alcohol start at an early age, typically in the form of a glass of wine shared with parents.
…I’m sure this situation is well-known by you (? )
Children’s behaviour and attitudes are strongly influenced by their parents and the world around them, but also by media… It’s the parents’ responsibility to teach their kids to drink sensibly. […]“

Im Weiteren ja sonst keine gravierenden Fehler - ‚danger‘ ist natürlich ohne ‚h‘, es muss ‚UNfortunately‘ heißen und
„unfortunately this point doesn’t hold teenagers up(=aufhalten) to drink“ hieße wohl besser
„unfortunately this point does not keep teenagers from drinking.“

Gern geschehen.

Gruß

roadwayrona

Hi wreeds, das Referat ist ok. wenn du es noch locker flockig vorträgst gibt es bestimmt eine gute Note. Die Rechtschreibung ist o.K. Ein Tipp vielleicht noch. Man neigt ja gerne dazu so wie man etwas in deutsch spricht 1 zu 1 in English zu übersetzen. Die ein oder andere Redewendung wird im Englischen leicht anders gesprochen. Verbesserungen sind aber nicht notwendig

Gruss steelstring

Hallo,

Vermutlich zu spät, aber dennoch.

Klingt insgesamt gut. Manches würde ein Muttersprachler vermutlich leicht anders formulieren, aber das macht eigentlich nichts.

Viel Glück beim Referat.
Gina

Ich danke euch allen sehr für die reichlichen Antworten, eure Mithilfe und die Zeit die ihr für mich aufgebracht habt.
Nun der Vortrag ist vorbei und er lief nicht schlecht!(-:
Ich hab zwar kurz mal den Faden verloren aber ansonsten sehr frei und fliessend gesprochen. Zu den Grammatik Fehlern hat er nicht sehr viel gesagt, leider informations anstatt information gesagt und sonst noch Kleinigkeiten. Note 5.25 (Schweiz) ich glaube ne 2+ (?) in Deutschland.

Aber jetzt noch ein letztes: DANKESCHÖN an euch ALLE! (: