Hört sich das gut an? Englischreferat

Hallo zusammen,
ich habe bald ein Referat in Englisch zu halten und möchte von euch wissen ob das gut bzw. ob es noch etwas zu verbessern gibt.

Hier ist das Referat:

Today I will give you some information about Hello Kitty.

First of all, I tell about the History of Hello Kitty.
Hello Kitty is a popular cartoon character which is created in 1974 by the Japanese Company Sanrio. They asked designer Ikuko Shimizu to invent a cartoon animal.
On November 1974 Sanrio introduced the first picture of hello kitty. She sat between a bottle of milk and a goldfish. At first she was just a little cat, which is sitting down and have a little red bow on her left ear.
The first product was a small coin purse in 1975.
In 1980 Sanrio has produced different products all around the world. For example: watches, clothes, lunchboxes, wallets, puppets and still even more.

Originally Hello Kitty was nameless. Then she was going to be called: White Kitty. Her nickname is Hello Kitty.
Hello Kitty has maintained her dominance over more than 450characters created by Sanrio
Every month Sanrio produces and design 500new Hello Kitty products.
She can be found on kitchen appliances, car accessories candies, handbags, computer games, diaries, mobile phones and other crazy stuffs.
Today is Hello Kitty one of Japan’s most popular brands.

Famous women like Mariah Carey, Britney Spears and Lisa Loeb also showed their adoration for the cute kitty.
Hello Kitty is a star attraction at Sanrio’s indoor theme Park which has 1.5millions visitors a year.

In her own make-believe World, Hello Kitty isn’t even Japanese.
She lives with her father, George White, Mother Mary White and twin sister Mimmy in a white house outside of London. They do not look like the same. Look at the bow. Hello Kitty prefers a red bow in her left ear. Mimmy has a yellow bow on her right.
She also has a pet cat named Charmmy and a hamster named Sugar
Hello Kitty has no mouth because if she doesn’t speak in a specific language then no one will feel ostracized.
Her birthday is one the first if November. She is a Scorpio. Her blood type is A.
She weighs the same as three apples and stands five apples tall.
Hello Kitty loves the colours red and pink.
Her Favourite Food is the apple pie which is baked by her mum. She also likes puddings and candies.
Her school is on the way to London, which is 4km from her home. Hello Kitty and her sister Mimmy take the bus to school every morning together.
Hello Kitty’s Favourite School Subjects are Music and English.
In her leisure she likes to go to the forest with her friends, play piano, collecting lots of cute items and play tennis.
She has an off- on boyfriend Dear Daniel a childhood friend who had to move with is Father to Africa
She is very happy and cheerful. In the future hello kitty would be a pianist or a poet.

In Spain she is called Hola Gatito
In French Bonjour Chat Petit.
Hello Kitty is a lovely cute cat that everyone loves.
That’s the end of my presentation, thank you for your attention!

Dankeschön schonmal,
Larila!

Hallo,

ich verbessere Ausdruck / STil/ Grammatik /Idiom. Auf den Inhalt gehe ich nicht ein.

Today I will give would like to give you some information about Hello Kitty.

First of all, I would like to tell about the H h istory of Hello Kitty.

Hello Kitty is a popular cartoon character which is was created in
1974 by the Japanese Company Sanrio. They asked designer Ikuko
Shimizu to invent a cartoon animal.
On In November 1974 Sanrio introduced the first picture of Hello
Kitty
. She sat between a bottle of milk and a goldfish. At
first she was just a little cat, which is sitting down and
have with a little red bow on above her left ear.
The first product was a small purse for coins in 1975.
In 1980 Sanrio has produced different products all around the
world. For example: watches, clothes, lunchboxes, wallets,
puppets and still even more lots more.

Originally , , Hello Kitty was nameless had no name. Then she was going to be
called: White Kitty. Her nickname was Hello Kitty.
Hello Kitty has maintained her dominance over more than
450 characters created by Sanrio ..
Every month , Sanrio produces and design s 500 new Hello Kitty products.
She can be found on kitchen appliances, car accessories
candies y , handbags, computer games, diaries, mobile phones and
other crazy stuffs items.

Today is Hello Kitty is one of Japan’s most popular brands.

Famous women like Mariah Carey, Britney Spears and Lisa Loeb
also showed their adoration for the cute kitty.
Hello Kitty is a star attraction at Sanrio’s indoor theme Park
which has 1.5 millions visitors a year.

In her own make-believe W w orld, Hello Kitty isn’t even
Japanese.
She lives with her father, George White, Mother Mary White and
twin sister Mimmy in a white house outside of London. They do
not look like the same. Look at the bow. Hello Kitty prefers a
red bow in on her left ear. Mimmy has a yellow bow on her right.
She also has a pet cat named Charmmy

check spelling

and a hamster named Sugar
Hello Kitty has no mouth because if she doesn’t speak in a
specific language then no one will feel ostracized.
Her birthday is one the first if November on the first of November. She is a Scorpio.
Her blood type is A.
She weighs the same as three apples and stands five apples
tall.
Hello Kitty loves the colours red and pink.
Her Favourite Food is the apple pie which is baked by her mum.
She also likes puddings and candies.
Her school is on the way to London, which is 4km from her
home. Hello Kitty and her sister Mimmy take the bus to school together :every morning .
Hello Kitty’s F f avourite S s school S s ubjects are Music and English.
In her leisure time she likes to going to the forest with her friends,
play ing the piano, collecting lots of cute items and play ing tennis.
She has an off- on on-off boyfriend called Dear Daniel , a childhood friend
who had to move with is Father to Africa
She is very happy and cheerful. In the future hello kitty
would wants to be a pianist or a poet.

In Spain she is called Hola Gatito
In French Bonjour Chat Petit.
Hello Kitty is a lovely cute cat that everyone loves is loved by everyone.
That’s the end of my presentation, thank you for your
attention!

Anmerkungen: es sieht aus (wegen der Wortwahl, wegen fehlender Satzzeichen) als habest du Textbausteine zusammengebastelt. Das kann funktionieren, kann aber auch sein, dass dein Lehrer das gar nicht mag (und der merkt es genauso wie ich). Versuche selbst zu formulieren.
Ich bin sicher, dass „ostracised“ nicht von dir stammt, es wäre sowieso nicht das erste Wort, das mir in diesem Zusammenhang mit dieser Bedeutung in den Sinn käme.

Gruß
Elke

who had to move with is Father to Africa

???

1.5 Millions
???

Und, Fragestellerin, nein, es hört sich auch nach der ansonsten guten Korrektur von Elke NICHT gut an. aber das hat sie ja schon gesagt.

Hallo Olgu,

who had to move with is Father to Africa

Naja, da fehlt ein „h“ und „Father“ gehört kleingeschrieben
„his father“

1.5 Millions

und da hat sie und ich ein -s übersehen –

Da wir nicht wissen, wie alt die UP ist und wie lange sie schon Englisch lernt, enthalte ich mich eines Kommentars über die Qualität.

Gruß
Elke

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