Ideologies in comparison:
Taoism:
Shit happens.
Confucianism:
Confucius said, shit happens.
Buddhism:
If shit happens, it is not really shit.
Zen Buddhism:
What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism:
This shit happened before.
Islam:
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Protestantism:
Let shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism:
If shit happens, then you deserve it.
Judaism:
Why does this shit always happen to us?
New Age:
Affirm that shit does not happen to me.
Atheism:
I don´t believe this shit.
Jehova’s Witnesses:
(Knock, Knock) Shit happens.
Dianetics/Scientology:
Shit your way to better life.
Cartesianism:
I shit therefore I am.
Darwinism:
We came up from shit.
Communism:
It’s everybody’s shit.
Capitalism:
How much does this shit cost?
Platonism:
There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image.
Archmedes:
Eureka! Shit happens.
Socrates:
Don’t disturb my shit happening.
Transcendental meditation:
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit…
Hare Krishna:
Shit happens, rama lama, ding-dong.
Voodoo:
Shit doesn’t just happen - somebody dumped it on you.
Rastafarianism:
Let´s roll this shit up and smoke it.