Kann bitte das hier einer schnell überfliegen?

HALLO,
ich habe hier einen paar sachen auf englisch geschrieben. kann bitte jemand mal drüber schauen, ob ich es so abgeben kann oder ob ich es doch lieber nochmal neu schreiben soll? das wäre echt sehr nett und hilfreich! danke im vorraus :smile:

No. 6.) Text
“Give a Boy a Gun” is a interesting title. Its sounds exciting
The story is consist of exciting main characters and some parts
consist of difficult
Slang. Gary and his friends chat sometimes (“…TerminX; Ever C a dead
person? Blkchokr: In
A casket?..”,pages 86), (“…Rebooto: U guys need 2 make a smart bomb.
Dayzd:
Smart bomb 4 dumb jocks.”, pages 98).

No. 7.) Education Aspects
The novel “Give a Boy a Gun” is addres for young adults in age of 14.
It would be wise to read the book in the school. Its thematized
important topics and
perhaps their are in a reading mood. And teachers can use the book to
make a
lesson to talk about mobbing or school rampage. After that the
teacher and the class can
agitate about solving problems.

Main topic
The main topic in the book is mobbing.
Through tease a person accrues hate and desire to take revenge.
The jocks tease the outsiders all the time and nobody say anything.
Teachers look away and don’t try to help.
Kids can get wrong role model. Gary’s and Brendan’s rolde models are
the
Two pupils, who started the rampage in Littleton.

No. 8.) Additional Comments
Relationship between people

Many young adults are able to identify with Brendan and Gary.
Brendan has a worse relationship to his parents. They annoy Brendan,
but they only trying
to help Brendan. Garys relationship to his father is not available.
After the divorce his father
does not contact him.
Gary and Brendan have a real friendship. They always help each other
and it seems that the two of them only come as package. And the
relation in the Middleton High Schoole are the same like in real
life. So there are the popular football players and the outsiders.
The cool pupils and the uncool pupils.

Authors message
(… “to ending youth violence. To every young person who has ever
been killed
or wounded by a gun…” pages 5).
Parents should take care of their children, teachers sould help
pupils!
Is there violence? Is someboday sad or depressive? How can I help?
No one should look away!

No. 9.) Personal Statement/comment

In my opinion is the book “Give a Boy a Gun” one of the best novel
I’d ever read.
I liked as well the different and special characters of the story. It
was easy for me to put the names to the different figures together.
And I remembered them quickly, also in the beginning. It is easy to
read and specific written for teenager.
The book is about very important themes and as far as I can see,
speak the society to less
about such themes. The point in the book is the growing brutality and
criminality, misbehavior from the teachers, mobbing and despair from
outsiders.
Its importent to think about the motives of Gary and Brendan. Nobody
should look away,
when he see that someone is tease by an other person. Teachers should
to step in a fight.
Maybe they should take a look at the outsiders and try to help them
and pay attention.
This book made me turn pages for hours. And honestly I have to say
that I had to cry
in the because the helplessness and despair of Gary and Brendan made
me sad.

Hallo,

ich habe hier einen paar sachen auf englisch geschrieben. kann
bitte jemand mal drüber schauen, ob ich es so abgeben kann
oder ob ich es doch lieber nochmal neu schreiben soll?

Tut mir leid, aber dieser Text wimmelt nur so von Fehlern.

No. 6.) Text
“Give a Boy a Gun” is a interesting title.

Der Artikel verändert sich vor einem Vokal. Dabei kommt es allerdings nicht darauf an, was geschrieben ist, sondern wie man das Wort ausspricht. So heißt es z.B. „a fruit, an apple“, aber auch „a uniform“, weil man es mit j am Anfang ausspricht.

Its sounds exciting

Its ist das Possesivpronomen. Übersetzen kann man es mit „sein“, und man verwendet es bei einem neutralen Substantiv. Also „his, her, its“.

Dann gibt es noch „it’s“, das heißt „es ist“.

Beides ist hier nicht passend.

The story is consist of …

Hier verwendest du „consist“ wie an Adverb. Dummerweise ist es keins.

… and some
parts
consist of difficult

Hier verwendest du „consist“ als Verb. Das ist schon besser. Eine Wiederholung bleibt es trotzdem.

Slang.

Es gibt nur einige wenige Wörter, die man im Englischen groß schreibt. Dazu gehören Eigennamen, außerdem die Adjektive, die Ländernamen bezeichnen (German, British, French), und natürlich so etwas wie God, King, Queen. Slang gehört nicht dazu.

No. 7.) Education Aspects
The novel “Give a Boy a Gun” is addres for young adults in age
of 14.

Wieder der gleiche Fehler wie oben. Ist „addres“ ein Adverb? Nein. Ganz abgesehen davon ist das Wort ohnehin falsch geschrieben. Es gibt „address“ = Adresse und „to address“ = sich richten an

It would be wise to read the book in the school.

Das klingt so, als würde etwas Schreckliches passieren, wenn man dieses Buch nicht liest.

Its
thematized
important topics and
perhaps their are in a reading mood.

„Its“ wieder falsch verwendet. Außerdem vermute ich, dass du nicht „their“ (ihr) sondern „there“ (dort) verwenden wolltest. Da fehlt aber noch das Substantiv.

So, jetzt hab ich keine Lust mehr.

Schöne Grüße

Petra