Kontrollieren von charasterization

Sprachen Fremdsprachen
#1

Hallo!
Ich habe zu morgen eine charakterisierung zu Vern Tessio aus dem Buch The Body von Stephen King zu schreiben, da ichg aber nicht sehr gut in Englisch bin ( sogar sehr schlecht) würde ich mich freuen wenn jemand meine charakterisierung korrigieren könnte. Ich freue mich über jede Hilfe !!
Gruß
Lilly

Vern Tessio
Vern Tessio is 12 years old and lives in Castle Rock. He has a older brother named Billy. Vern think that his brother is very stupid and so he hated him. His older brother Billy is a member of Ace Merill´s gang. Vern has dark eyes in his sweaty face and he´s listening to pop music. He is about equal in intelligence. Vern´s dad worked at a factory in town. Vern is a member of a gang. The other members are Teddy Duchamp, Chris Chambers and Gordie Lachance. He spend his days in the lirttle tree house. Vern has never seen a dead body. Vern is very young and athletic. He run to the tree houses. He also is very sympathetic and nice. Vern usuallye use teenagespeech and often normal speech. He is open and cryazy. Vern is one of the main character. He likes adventures more than anyone of his gang does.He´s from a bad famtly amd enjoys smoking cigarettes.

Vern died in a house fire.

#2

Hallo Lilli,

ich habe deinen Text korrigiert. Hier ist er.

Vern Tessio
Vern Tessio is 12 years old and lives in Castle Rock. He has a older brother named Billy. Vern think (entweder “thinks” oder “is thinking”) that his brother is very stupid and so he hated (“hates” – du kannst nicht einfach die Zeit ändern) him. His older brother Billy is a member of Ace Merill´s gang. Vern has dark eyes in his sweaty ?? (“sweet” – ich nehme an, du meinst “süßes Gesicht” oder meinst du “schweißiges Gesicht, dann ist “sweaty” richtig) face and he´s listening to pop music. He is about equal in “of averaged” (von durchschnittlicher Intelligenz) intelligence. Vern´s dad worked (“is working”) at a factory in town. Vern is a member of a gang. The other members are Teddy Duchamp, Chris Chambers and Gordie Lachance. He spend (spends) his days in the lirttle tree house. Vern has never seen a dead body. Vern is very young and athletic. He run (“runs”) to the tree houses. He also is very sympathetic and nice. Vern usuallye use (“usually uses”) teenagespeech (“the language of teenagers”) and often normal speech (“language” aber was willst du hier sagen? Er spricht normalerweise Teenagersprache, spricht aber auch oft normal? Dann würde ich anstelle des „and“ ein „but“ setzen und schreiben „but often he speeks also normal language“). He is open and cryazy (crazy). Vern is one of the main character (“characters”, das muss im Plural stehen). He likes adventures more than anyone of his gang does.He´s (“He comes”) from a bad famtly amd (“family and”) enjoys smoking cigarettes.

Vern died (warum hier die Vergangenheit? „Vern dies in/during a house fire) in a house fire.

Viel Glück und viele Grüße
Theda

#3

Hauptsaechlich hast du das „s“, das man in der dritten Person der Gegenwart anhaengt, vergessen:

Vern Tessio is 12 years old and lives in Castle Rock. He has a older brother named Billy. Vern thinks that his brother is very stupid and so he hates him. His older brother Billy is a member of Ace Merill´s gang. Vern has dark eyes in his sweaty face and he´s listening to pop music. He is about equal in intelligence. Vern´s dad works at a factory in town. Vern is a member of a gang. The other members are Teddy Duchamp, Chris Chambers and Gordie Lachance. He spends his days in the little tree house. Vern has never seen a dead body. Vern is very young and athletic. He runs to the tree houses. He also is very sympathetic and nice. Vern usually uses teenage speech and often normal speech. He is open and crazy. Vern is one of the main characters. He likes adventures more than anyone of his gang does. He´s from a bad family amd enjoys smoking cigarettes.

Vern dies in a house fire.