Korrekturlesen: Englisch

Sprachen Fremdsprachen
#1

Hey Community,
Könte bitte jemand für mich diesen text korrekturlesen ? Wären nett :smile:

_Dear Mr. XXX

Thank you for your ideas for our new marketing strategies.
You did a good job so it was hard for me to decide the two most suitable options for our company.

Still I try to pick the two ideas they match to each other and so I choose to develop the Hudson Brand and to hire a top designer.

Elementary for our success in Europe is the right pricing of our products.
We produce high quality luggage made in America and we are really successful with this strategy in the US, because of this I think we should sell our products in the higher price ranges in Europe, too.

If we want, that the people in Europe buy our luggage they need to know and to identify with our brand.
We can advertise our products in film and television with two well known French film stars.
It’s a great Idea to hire an actor and an actress, so man and woman can identify with our products.

In according to the last (scale), 82% of (the people) think our products are (old fashioned), so if we want to attend to young people we need fresh and modern products and a top designer to create them.
We should sell the products under a new label, too.

I look forward to meeting you and your associates on the 1st January 2011.

Best regards_

#2

Hallo,
wenn du einen Topdesigner zahlen kannst, dann würde ich auch zu einem Topübersetzer raten, um:

for our success in Europe

einen besseren Eindruck als mit Deinem Englisch zu hinterlassen…
Gruß
mitzisch

#3

hallo boosnian,
ich werds mal versuchen. ein paar sachen solltest du schon ändern.

Dear Mr. XXX

Thank you for your ideas for our new marketing strategies.
You did a good job , so it was hard for me to decide on the two options most suitable for our company.

I still tried to pick the two ideas , that went best together and so I choose to develop the Hudson Brand and to hire a top designer.

Elementary for our success in Europe is the right pricing of our products.
We produce high quality luggage made in America and we are really successful with this strategy in the US, that’s why I think we should sell our products in the higher price ranges in Europe, too.

If we want, that the people in Europe buy our luggage they need to know our brand and identify themselves with it.
(dieser satz ist irgendwie unglücklich, weil „if“ ja „falls“ bedeutet, aber du möchtest ja unbedingt, dass das produkt sich verkauft, deswegen würde ich eher sowas vorschlagen: Because we want the Europeans to buy our luggange, it is advisable that they’re identify with it and thus to get to know it better. Therefore we need/can/are able to… hier könnte der nächste satz anknüpfen)
We’re able to advertise our products in film and television with two well known French film stars.
It’s a great idea to hire an actor and an actress, so men and women equally can identify with our products.

According to the last (scale), 82% of (the people) think our products are (old fashioned), so if we want to attend to young people we need fresh and modern products and a top designer to create them.
We should also sell the products under a new label .

I’m looking forward to meet you and your associates (co-workers wäre hier vielleicht besser) on January the 1st 2011.

Best regards

#4

Vielen Dank für deine Hilfe bloody_venus :wink:

Hallo,
wenn du einen Topdesigner zahlen kannst, dann würde ich auch zu einem :Topübersetzer raten, um:
for our success in Europe
einen besseren Eindruck als mit Deinem Englisch zu hinterlassen…

Ja sollte nur eine Übung sein der Brief, damit sollte kein Topdesinger wirklich angeworben werden :>

#5

Hi!

Hast Du es schon abgegeben? Ich würde es sonst korrigieren.

Gruß
Sin

#6

Hi!

Du hast es sicherlich gut gemeint, aber der Brief ist so leider nicht akzeptabel.

Gruß