Letter of Motivation Englisch Hilfe

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#1

Hallo ihr Lieben,

ich muss für eine private Hochschule ein Motivationsschreiben verfassen… wäre super lieb, wenn ihr vielleicht mal drüber lesen könntet und mir ein paar Tipps geben könntet. Vor allem was die Grammatik angeht. Ich bin leider aus dem Schulenglisch ziemlich raus und befürchte mein Englisch ist dann doch eher sehr umgangssprachlich.

Also vielen lieben Dank schonmal vorweg.
Liebe Grüße

Dear Sir or Madam,

I hereby wish to state my interest for a place in your Bachelor of Arts program in Corporate Finance.

My interest in business management stems from a two week work experience with Sparkasse XY in 2006, was influenced by the self-employment of my father and certified by my professional training at Sparkasse YZ. Passing with distinction in January supported my decision to study Corporate Finance. I feel confident to have great career opportunities because I have seen how important an academic established and at the same time applied study can be in the financial sector.

I joined the open day at the International School of Management and visited your Internet page for more information. As a result I believe that the ISM offers me the best education in the fields of finance which fits perfectly my knowledge of the banking apprenticeship and my plans for the future. I noted the international cooperation with other universities and well-known companies and think those contacts will proof helpful to get ahead during work experiences or the semester abroad.

Besides my good previous knowledge and my interest in economy I am someone who always wants to change for the better. One example is a four week language study travel to London that I made last month to improve my English. I am committed, loyal and work well in a team. The latter definitely arises in my hobby handball. Until the beginning of my bank training I acted as the youth Spokespersons of my club HC TuRa Bergkamen. For me it is important to stand up for other people and try to help them.

I strongly believe that the International School of Management is the university that will help me in achieving my goals by teaching in a personal atmosphere and having lecturers who made their own work experiences in their specific field and also by doing individual projects as well as group works which gives everyone the chance to show their strength.

I am looking forward to hear from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

jap das wars :smile: Also vielen lieben Dank und Ich hoffe niemandem stehen die Haare zu Berge :wink:

#2

Hi!

Ich habe ein paar Sachen korrigiert, einiges verstehe ich nicht so ganz.

LG
Sin

Dear Sir or Madam

I hereby wish to state my interest for a place at your Bachelor of Arts program in Corporate Finance. 

My interest in business management stems from a two week work experience with Sparkasse XY in 2006, was influenced by my self-employed father (was hat er gemacht? Gärtner? Fußpfleger…) and certified by my professional training at Sparkasse YZ. (Lehre? Wenn ja wie lange?) passing with distinction in January, enhanced my decision to study Corporate Finance. I feel confident to obtain very good career opportunities. I am aware how important an academic degree is in the financial sector.

I attended your open day at the International School of Management and visited your website for more information. Hence, I believe that the ISM offers the best education in the field of finance which fits in perfectly with my knowledge of banking apprenticeships (?was bedeutet das? Deine Lehre? ) and my plans for the future.

I am impressed by your international cooperation with other universities and well-known companies and I think those contacts wouldl be helpful for my progress during my work experiences or my semester abroad. 

Additionally to my good previous knowledge (Was denn genau - 2 Wochen Praktikum? Oder doch eine richtige Lehre- wenn ja wie lange? 2J ?) and my interest in economics I am someone who always wants to improve my knowledge

One example is a four week language course I did last month in London to improve my English.
(Bei welcher “Instutition” warst Du? Sonderlich kompetent scheinen sie definitiv nicht gewesen zu sein.- nicht böse gemeint!)

I am committed, loyal and a good team player. The latter definitely arises in my hobby handball. Until I started my apprenticeship at the XY bank (also doch Lehre?) I was the youth’s spokesperson of my club HC TuRa Bergkamen. It is very important to me to support other people and assist them. 

I strongly believe that the International School of Management is the university that will help me to achieve my ambitious goals by being taught in a personal atmosphere and having dedicated lecturers who have made their own work experiences in their specific fields and also by working on individual projects as well as group work which gives everyone the chance to show their strength. 

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. 

Yours faithfully

#3

Hey,

danke, dass du dir die Zeit genommen hast über das Motivationsschreiben zu gucken…

und ja ich habe eine Bankausbildung gemacht…

Aber hast mir sehr weitergeholfen, also danke und schönen Sonntag noch…

LG

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