Letter of Motivation englisch Korrekturlesen

Sprachen Fremdsprachen
#1

Hallo ihr Lieben,

ich muss für eine private Hochschule ein Motivationsschreiben verfassen… wäre super lieb, wenn ihr vielleicht mal drüber lesen könntet und mir ein paar Tipps geben könntet. Vor allem was die Grammatik angeht. Ich bin leider aus dem Schulenglisch ziemlich raus und befürchte mein Englisch ist dann doch eher sehr umgangssprachlich.

Also vielen lieben Dank schonmal vorweg.
Liebe Grüße

Dear Sir or Madam,

I hereby wish to state my interest for a place in your Bachelor of Arts program in Corporate Finance.

My interest in business management stems from a two week work experience with Sparkasse XY in 2006, was influenced by the self-employment of my father and certified by my professional training at Sparkasse YZ. Passing with distinction in January supported my decision to study Corporate Finance. I feel confident to have great career opportunities because I have seen how important an academic established and at the same time applied study can be in the financial sector.

I joined the open day at the International School of Management and visited your Internet page for more information. As a result I believe that the ISM offers me the best education in the fields of finance which fits perfectly my knowledge of the banking apprenticeship and my plans for the future. I noted the international cooperation with other universities and well-known companies and think those contacts will proof helpful to get ahead during work experiences or the semester abroad.

Besides my good previous knowledge and my interest in economy I am someone who always wants to change for the better. One example is a four week language study travel to London that I made last month to improve my English. I am committed, loyal and work well in a team. The latter definitely arises in my hobby handball. Until the beginning of my bank training I acted as the youth Spokespersons of my club HC TuRa Bergkamen. For me it is important to stand up for other people and try to help them.

I strongly believe that the International School of Management is the university that will help me in achieving my goals by teaching in a personal atmosphere and having lecturers who made their own work experiences in their specific field and also by doing individual projects as well as group works which gives everyone the chance to show their strength.

I am looking forward to hear from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

jap das wars :smile: Also vielen lieben Dank und Ich hoffe niemandem stehen die Haare zu Berge :wink:

#2

Dear Sir or Madam,

I hereby wish to state my interest in a place in your Bachelor of Arts program in Corporate Finance.

My interest in business management stems from a two week intrnship at Sparkasse XY in 2006, which was influenced by the self-employment of my father and confirmed by my professional training at Sparkasse YZ. Passing with distinction in January supported my decision to study Corporate Finance. I feel confident that I have great career opportunities because I have seen how important the combination of academic knowledge and applied skills can be in the financial sector.

I attended the open day at the International School of Management and visited your Internet page for more information. As a result I believe that the ISM offers me the best education in the fields of finance, which fits perfectly my knowledge from my banking traineeship and my plans for the future. I noted the international cooperation with other universities and well-known companies and think those contacts will prove helpful in getting ahead through traineeships or the semester abroad.

Besides my good previous knowledge and my interest in economics I am someone who always wants to change for the better. One example is a four week language study trip to London that I took last month to improve my English. I am committed, loyal and work well in a team. The latter is definitely connected to my hobby, handball. Until I began my bank training, I acted as the youth spokesperson of my club HC TuRa Bergkamen. For me it is important to stand up for other people and try to help them.

I strongly believe that the International School of Management is the university that will help me in achieving my goals by learning in a personal atmosphere, having lecturers who are active in their specific field, doing individual projects and joining in group work which gives everyone the chance to show their strength.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

#3

Sorry, I noticed a few more errors, including my own typos:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I hereby wish to state my interest in a place in your Bachelor of Arts program in Corporate Finance.

My interest in business management stems from a two week internship at Sparkasse XY in 2006, which was influenced by my father’s self-employment and confirmed by my professional training at Sparkasse YZ. Passing with distinction in January encouraged my decision to study Corporate Finance. I feel confident about my career opportunities because I have seen how important the combination of academic knowledge and applied skills can be in the financial sector.

I attended the open day at the International School of Management and visited your Internet page for more information. As a result I believe that the ISM offers me the best education in the field of finance to extend my knowledge from my banking traineeship to enable professional growth. I noted the international cooperation with other universities and well-known companies and think those contacts will prove helpful in getting ahead through traineeships or the semester abroad.

Aside from my good previous knowledge and my interest in economics, I am someone who always wants to change for the better. One example is a four week language study trip to London that I took last month to improve my English. I am committed, loyal and work well in a team. The latter is definitely connected to my hobby, handball. Until I began my bank training, I acted as the youth spokesperson of my club HC TuRa Bergkamen. For me it is important to stand up for and support others.

I strongly believe that the International School of Management is the university that will help me achieve my goals by providing a personal atmosphere for learning, having lecturers who are active in their specific field, doing individual projects and joining in group work that gives everyone the chance to show their strengths.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

#4

Vielen Lieben Dank :smile:
LG

#5

Hi Carine,

mein Freund unterrichtet Geschäftsenglisch, da habe ich deine Anfrage zum Korrekturlesen an ihn weitergeleitet. Leider hat er mir eine zip datei geschickt, die ich auf Mac nicht öffnen kann. wenn du mir deine EMail adr. gibst könnte ich sie an dich weiterleiten.

Grüße von Susanne