Hallo,
im nächsten Jahr möchte ich am Europäischen Freiwilligendienst teilnehmen und dafür muss ich auch einen „Letter Of Motivation“ schreiben. Ich habe mich sehr bemüht, Fehler zu vermeiden, jedoch vermute ich, dass dennoch noch genug vorhanden sein werden.
Es wäre wirklich sehr nett, wenn sich das ganze mal jemand durchlesen könnte und mich auf meine Fehler, am besten noch mit Berichtung aufmerksam machen könnte.
Ich danke schon mal.
_Dear Ms XY
my name is XY, I am 18 years old and I am applying for the European Voluntary Service which is advertised on the Internet.
I was born in XY, which is located in Siberia, on the XYth of XY 1989. When I was two years old my family and I moved to Germany. Since twelve years I live in XY, a small village with 4000 residents. My sister XY (26 years) and my brother XY (23 years) relocated because of studies. I live with my father XY (48 years old) and my mother XY (47 years old). My father works as a driver and my mother trains as educator.
I am attending school till March 2008, then I will leave with general qualification for university entrance. Germany, English and History are my intensive courses in school and my favorite school subjects.
In my freetime I usually pursue my hobbies like meeting my friends, sewing my own clothes, reading books and listening to music.
My friends describe me as a humorous and open-minded person. I would say that I am curious, eager for knowledge and tolerant. I try to be without prejudice against other cultures and humans and I think I succeed. It is important to me to experience a lot of things and never try to stop learning. If I am really in a new thing for a example a new found author I am very enthustiac and want to get a lot of information. Sometimes my family is on edge because for them I am too brim over with enthusiasm. I am open-minded nevertheless I take time to contract a friendship because I hardly distinguish between friends and acquaintences. But if I say friend about someone I really trust this person and tell them a lot about my thoughts and feelings. I want to participate in the European Voluntary Service because I want to get more open and satisfy my thirst for knowledge. For years I am dreaming about visiting a new country for months after leaving school and the European Voluntary Service seems to be the best option to do that. Being social is an important thing in our society but sadly a lot of people do not share this position. I want to help other people not only by spending money, I want to do that actively. I want to help to improve other peoples’ situation. I want to help.
I really want to play a part in the project because I think I am enough qualified. I step up to strange people and do not hide myself. I have a mind on my own and speak my mind but for me it is not a problem if other people differ on the subject because then I proof my own opinion and try to find a compromise. It is fun for me to organise meetings and solve problems and if I start a thing I want to finish. Sometimes along the way I am a bit irritated but in the end I am happy about the result. I think these characteristics suit to the project and I hope to change for the better.
In the past voluntarily I was two years a tutor at my school. My task was to show a class their new big school by organising meetings with their class mates. There for example they played games to get to know each other and their school. In addition I was a contact person for them, too. It amused me to organise the meetings and to occupy the children.
Of course I take to the country because I like the culture, the landscape and the language. The landscape seems a bit romantic to me and I would enjoy promenading. The language sounds very interesting and it would be a pleasure to learn. All I heard and read about the country sound lovely.
I look forward to hearing from you soon._
Hi
Ich muss bis 21:00 Uhr arbeiten. Ein paar Sachen habe ich schon mal rasch korrigiert. Ich schaue nach 21:00 noch mal in Ruhe drüber.
Gruß
Siân
Dear Ms XY
my name is XY, I am 18 years old and I am applying for the European Voluntary Service, which is advertised on the Internet.
I was born in XY, which is located in Siberia, on the XYth of XY 1989. When I was two years old my family and I moved to Germany. I have been living in XY for 12 years ,it is a small village with 4000 residents. My sister XY (26 years) and my brother XY (23 years) moved away because of their studies. I live with my father XY (48 years old) and my mother XY (47 years old). My father works as a driver and my mother is training as an educator. (WAS ist das?)
I will be attending school until March 2008, and then I will leave with a general qualification for university entrance. Germany, English and history are my major courses at school and also my favorite subjects.
In my free time I usually pursue my hobbies like meeting my friends, sewing my own clothes, reading books and listening to music.
My friends describe me as a humorous and open-minded person. I would say that I am curious, eager for knowledge and tolerant. I try to be without prejudice against other cultures and humans and I think I succeed. It is important to me to experience a lot of new things and never try to stop learning. If I am really ivolved in something new, for an example an author I have discovered I am very enthusiastic and want to get a lot of information. Sometimes my family is on edge because for them I am brimming over with enthusiasm too much. I am open-minded, nevertheless” I take time to make friends” because “I hardly distinguish between friends and acquaintances” (DAS wiederspricht sich?) But if I call someone my friend I really trust this person and tell him or her a lot about my thoughts and feelings) I want to participate in the European Voluntary Service because I want to get more open and satisfy my thirst for knowledge. For years I have been dreaming about visiting a new country for months after leaving school and the European Voluntary Service seems to be the best way to do that. Being social is an important thing in our society but sadly a lot of people do not share this attitude. I want to help other people not only by spending money; I want to do that actively. I want to help to improve other peoples’ situation. I want to help.
I really want to play a part in the project because I think I am qualified enough to. I approach strange people and do not hide. I have a mind on my own and speak my mind but for me it is not a problem if other people differ on the subject because then I proof my own opinion and try to find a compromise. It is fun for me to organise meetings and solve problems and if I start a thing I want to finish. Sometimes along the way I am a bit irritated but in the end I am happy about the result. I think these characteristics suit the project and I hope to change for the better.
In the past voluntarily I was a tutor for two years at my school. My task was to show a class their new big school by organising meetings with their classmates. There, for example they played games to get to know each other and their school. In addition I was a contact person for them, too. It amused me to organise the meetings and to occupy the children.
Of course I take to the country because I like the culture, the landscape and the language. The landscape seems a bit romantic to me and I would enjoy walking. The language sounds very interesting and it would be a pleasure to learn. All I heard and read about the country sounds lovely.
I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Hi
Soderle, nun die echte Korrektur- ohne Zeitdruck:
Liebe Grüße
Siân
Dear Ms XY
My name is XY, I am 18 and I am applying for the European Voluntary Service, which is advertised on the Internet.
I was born in XY, which is located in Siberia, on the XYth of XY 1989. When I was two years old my family and I moved to Germany. I have been living in XY for 12 years; it is a small village with 4000 inhabitants. My sister XY (26 years) and my brother XY (23 years) moved away because of their studies. I live with my father XY (48 years old) and my mother XY (47 years old). My father works as a driver and my mother is training as an educator. (WAS ist das?)
I will be attending school until March 2008, and then I will leave with a general qualification for university entrance. Germany, English and history are my major courses at school and also my favourite subjects.
In my free time I usually pursue my hobbies like meeting my friends, sewing my own clothes, reading books and listening to music.
My friends describe me as a humorous and open-minded person. I would say that I am curious, eager to gain knowledge and I am tolerant. I try to be without prejudice against other cultures and humans and I think I succeed. It is important to me to experience a lot of new things and I never try to stop learning. If I am really involved in something new, for an example an author I have discovered something new, I am very enthusiastic about it and I want to get a lot of information. Sometimes my family is on edge because, for them I am brimming over with enthusiasm too much. I am open-minded, nevertheless” I take time to make friends” because “I hardly distinguish between friends and acquaintances” (DAS wiederspricht sich?) But if I call someone my friend I really trust this person and tell him or her a lot about my thoughts and feelings) I want to participate in the European Voluntary Service because I want to get more open and satisfy my thirst for knowledge. For years I have been dreaming about visiting a new country for months after leaving school and the European Voluntary Service seems to be the best way to do that. Being social is an important thing in our society but sadly a lot of people do not share this attitude. I want to help other people not only by spending money; I want to do that in an active way. I want to help to improve other peoples’ situations. I want to help.
I really want to play a vital part in the project because I think I am qualified enough to do so. I approach strange people and I do not hide. I have a mind of my own and say what I think, but for me it is no problem if other people differ on the subject because then I attempt to prove my own opinion and try to find a compromise. It is fun for me to organise meetings and solve problems and if I start a thing I want to finish. Sometimes along the way I am a bit irritated but in the end I am happy about the result. I think these characteristics suit the project and I hope to change for the better.
In the past voluntarily I was a tutor for two years at my school. My task was to show a class their new big school by organising meetings with their classmates. There, for example they played games to get to know each other and their school. In addition I was a contact person for them, too. It amused me to organise the meetings and to occupy the children.
Of course I take to the country because I like the culture, the landscape and the language. The landscape seems a bit romantic to me and I would enjoy walking. The language sounds very interesting and it would be a pleasure to learn. All I heard and read about the country sounds lovely.
I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
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Hallo Siân,
wow, das nenne ich mal eine Arbeit. Ein Sternchen für Deinen Fleiß 
.
LG Tanja
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Hi Tanja
Vielen lieben Dank für Deine nette Antwort.
Liebe Grüße
Siân
Hallo Siân,
wow, das nenne ich mal eine Arbeit. Ein Sternchen für Deinen
Fleiß .
Mich soeben angeschlossen! ;o))
Danke in meinen Namen und (vielleicht auch) im Namen deren, die daraus Englisch lernen!
Schöne Grüße,
Helena
Hallo,
vielen lieben Dank, dass du dir die Mühe gemacht hast, das alles nach zu gucken, das bedeutet mir sehr viel! Mir ist die Bewerbung nämlich sehr wichtig und wenn ich unnötige Fehler eingebaut habe, macht das nicht ganz so einen guten Eindruck.
Ich möchte mich nochmals vielmals bei dir bedanken! Du hast mir sehr geholfen. Das ganze habe ich auch mit einem Sternchen belohnt. 
Lieber Gruß,
Xenia
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