Letter of motivation - Studienprogramm

Hey Leute,
hab ein kurzes Motivationsschreiben für ein Kurzstudienprogramm im baltischen Raum verfasst. Da ich nicht wirklich viel Erfahrung in solchen Sachen habe, wäre es nett, falls jemand von euch mal drüber schauen kann. Besten Dank dafür.
Gruß frido.

Dear Ms x

With this letter I would like to state my motivation for taking part in the Intensive Programme in x. Since October 2009 I am studying the Master’s programme media management with a major in taxes, finance and management accounting.
Participating in this study program is the perfect opportunity for me not only to expand my knowledge, but also to learn more about other cultures and to get involved and collaborate successfully with students from different universities who I have never seen before. This will aid me to build up relationships in an international ambience in the future.
The fact that most topics match with my program of study will help me to further depress my current state of study combined with an important experience for my upcoming career. Since lectures will be hold by academics from different countries, the multinational level will be very high and I will get insights from differing points of view on economic chances and problems. Moreover, working in groups and simulating business games is a possibility for me to apply my actual knowledge and to get a deeper understanding about economic circumstances.
In addition, the Baltic states count as one of the most ambitious countries of the European Union. Since getting their independency back, they have an above-average economic growth which illustrates us how much potential these countries have. In conclusion, it is important for us not to ignore these states, instead we should learn from them and maybe adopt some parts.
Thank you very much for considering my application. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely

Hallo,

With this letter I would like to state my motivation for
taking part in the Intensive Programme in x. Since October
2009 I am studying the Master’s programme media management
with a major in taxes, finance and management accounting.

I have been studying since October …

Participating in this study program is the perfect opportunity

would be (du machst es ja noch nicht)

for me not only to expand my knowledge, but also to learn more
about other cultures and to get involved and collaborate
successfully with students from different universities

work together with

who I have never seen before.

whom I have never seen before — WEN hast du nie zuvor gesehen?
Laut Satzzusammenhang: die Studenten. ABer das dürfte klar sein.
Du meinst aber wahrscheinlich die Universitäten und da musst du dir einen anderen Satz einfallen lassen.

This will aid me to build up
relationships

to build relationships (not „up“)

in an international ambience in the future.

international environment (ambience findet man beim Innenarchitekten)

The fact that most topics match with my program of study will
help me to further depress my current state of study combined

depress? Was meinst du?

with an important experience

with imp. experiences

for my upcoming career.

for my envisaged career.Since

lectures will be hold by academics from different countries,

will be held (die wissen aber schon selbst, wer ihre Vorlesungen hält)

the multinational level will be very high

??? ein multinational level (?) kann nicht „hoch“ sein

and I will get
insights from differing points of view on economic chances and
problems. Moreover, working in groups and simulating business
games

entweder man spielt „business games“ oder man simuliert „business“.

is a possibility for me to apply my actual knowledge

was meinst du mit „actual knowledge“?

and
to get a deeper understanding about economic circumstances.

understanding of

In addition, the Baltic states count as one of the most
ambitious countries of the European Union.

states=plural, one of = singular

Since getting their
independency

indepence

back,

Since gaining their independence

they have an above-average economic growth
which illustrates us

which illustrates how much potential these countries have.

In conclusion, it is important for us not to ignore these
states, instead we should learn from them and maybe adopt some
parts.

Wir sollen einen Teil der baltischen Staaten adoptieren? Die würden sich bedanken!

Thank you very much for considering my application. I am
looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely

Gruß
Elke

Hallo Elke,

erstmal ein großes Dankeschön für deine Hilfe. Ich habe aber noch ein paar kleine Verständnisfragen.

The fact that most topics match with my program of study will
help me to further depress my current state of study combined

depress? Was meinst du?

depress im Sinne von vertiefen - meine studien vertiefen

for my upcoming career.

for my envisaged career.

Wieso hier nicht upcoming?? anstehende?

Moreover, working in groups and simulating business
games

entweder man spielt „business games“ oder man simuliert
„business“.

Was könnte ich hier stattdessen sagen? Es geht um Planspiele…

In conclusion, it is important for us not to ignore these
states, instead we should learn from them and maybe adopt some
parts.

Wir sollen einen Teil der baltischen Staaten adoptieren? Die
würden sich bedanken!

adopt wollte ich im Sinne von „übernehmen“ verwenden. Das wir Teile des angewandenten übernehmen können - merke aber gerade, dass das wohl eher schwachsinnig ist.

Gruß frido

Hi, Frido,

depress? Was meinst du?

to depress heißt niederdrücken. Du möchtest vertiefen - deepen eventuell auch broaden

Wieso hier nicht upcoming?? anstehende?

Da wärest du dir sicher, dass diese Karriere wirklich kommt. planned wäre wohl besser.

Was könnte ich hier stattdessen sagen? Es geht um Planspiele…

business simulations, auch map exercise würde passen.

maybe adopt some parts.

Na, hast Du selbst gemerkt. Adopt their experiences, their solutions etc.

Gruß
Eckard