Ich muss im Zuge meiner Anmeldung an einem englisch sprachigen college eine letter of motivation verfassen und würde gerne verbesserungsvorschläge entgegennehmen:smile:
schonmal ein danke im voraus!
Letter of Motivation
I hereby wish to state my interest for a place in your Bachelor of Science in Management/International Business programme.
After graduating from school in June 2009 I’m looking forward to be given the opportunity to apply to your College to enjoy a high level of education.
At my High-School I’m attending the English Leistungskurs which gave me the opportunity to gain a widespread knowledge of the English language. Furthermore my English has enhanced during the summer holidays 2004 which I spend in the United States.
Being a representative of my fellow pupil in the “Schülervertretung” of my High-School I already had the possibility to gain experience in stepping in for the interest of others, working in groups in order to achieve a goal and discussing issues for the purpose of solving them.
The much smaller classes in private colleges such as Touro College Berlin supply that the lecturer can better concentrate on each of the students and can therefore provide a more effective work climate.
So attending Touro College Berlin would be a great step forward for my personal development not only as a human being but also as a professional person working in the Management-sector.
Due to your great international reputation attending your College would make me come closer to my future goal of becoming an important part of any firm I’m going to work for after graduating at your institute.
I would be glad given the opportunity to become a part of your College and I’m looking forward hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Hallo,
mal sehen, wieviel Zeit ich habe, vielleicht hör ich mittendrin auf, okay?
Letter of Motivation
I hereby wish to state my interest for a place in your
Bachelor of Science in Management/International Business
programme.
After graduating from high school in June 2009 , I am looking forward
to have the opportunity to apply to your College in order to receive
a high level of education. („high level of education“ finde ich nicht sehr gelungen - vielleicht: to further my education [at a high/superior level])
At my high school I am attending the English „Leistungskurs“ (the highest possible level of a language course in highschool - oder eine ähnliche Erklärung des Kurslevels)
which gave me the opportunity to gain a widespread knowledge (widesp. know. klingt nach Phrase – ich würds umformulieren)
of the English language. Furthermore my English w as enhanced
during the summer holidays 2004 which I spend in the United
States. ( Furthermore, in 2004 I spent the summer holidays in the United States, which considerably improved my ability to speak English / my English competency
So, und jetzt muss ich weg, vielleicht macht jemand weiter.
Gruß
Elke
Being a representative of my fellow pupil s in the
“Schülervertretung” of my highschool /
Being elected president of the students’ council at my highschool, I already (warum already? einfach weglassen) had the
chance to gain experience in act in the interest of others , and to working in teams in order to achieve a goal and
discuss ing
issues for the purpose of solving them.
The much smaller classes in private colleges such as Touro
College Berlin supply that the lecturer can better concentrate
on each of the students and can therefore provide a more
effective work climate.
So attending Touro College Berlin would be a great step
forward for my personal development not only as a human being
but also as a professional person working in the
Management-sector.
Due to your great international reputation attending your
College would make me come closer to my future goal of
becoming an important part of any firm I’m going to work for
after graduating at your institute.
I would be glad given the opportunity to become a part of your
College and I’m looking forward hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
top. danke vielmals:smile:
sehr sehr gute vorschläge.
danke nochmal:smile:
Hallo,
Erstmal danke für den Dank und jetzt hab ich ein bisschen Zeit:
Much smaller classes in private colleges such as Touro
College Berlin supply allow for a better working environment since a lecturer is able to concentrate more on individual students.
Therefore, attending Touro College Berlin would provide a chance for my development not only as a human being person but also as a professional person working in a managerial capacity.
Your great international reputation (Sinnfrage: die Reputation bringt dich ja nicht dem Ziel näher, sondern der Unterricht, den du dort erhälst) would make it possible to achieve my goal (goal is always „future“) of
playing an important part in any firm thaz I am going to work for
after graduating at from your institute.
I would be glad to receive the opportunity to become a part of your
College and I a m looking forward to hear from you.
Yours sincerely,
Gruß
Elke