LOLWECH ... geiler Spam

Freizeit & Hobby Witze
1

Von: Mustapha Bello
An: [email protected]
Betreff: Thanks for your help
Datum: Mon, 1 Sep 2003 21:33:29 -0700 (PDT)

FROM: GEN. MUSTAPHA BELLOTELE/FAX: 23 492 726 225

Dear Friend,With full trust and understanding, I have decided to send you this proposal, which I trust you will consider profit oriented. The whole World is completely aware of the recent outbreak of war in Liberia, which the REBELS have insisted that the Government of President Charles Taylor must step down from power to give room for Dividend of Democracy in Liberia.I am General Mustapha Bello, The Former Chief of Defense Staff in Liberia. I am 58 years old. Sequel to out break of war in Liberia, I have in my possession, the sum of $62.5m (Sixty-two Million, Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars) being Government money assigned to me by Government of Charles Taylor for rehabilitation of Liberian Army Barracks and purchase of Military War Ship and this funds was diverted to my personal use when the REBELS hijack the Government of Charles Taylor.However, these funds was smuggled through the Boarder via a Diplomatic Security Company attached to South African and have the funds delivered in South Africa in order to work out modalities to have the funds moved to oversea countries. Furthermore, this fund was sealed in two Boxes as Family treasure and will move as a Diplomatic cargo. This is 100% risk-free transaction and profit oriented and I have chosen to strike this deal with you if you will not mind. As I am in exile, I have no traveling documents with me and still under South African Government caring for protection, therefore, this is the only treasures I have and the future of my children depends on this funds since all our account has been frozen and for now, I have nothing to boast for except this funds that has been deposited with the Diplomatic Security Company. Based on your attention is highly needed to execute this deal. I will offer you 30% of the funds and we can as well go into JOINT VENTURE and the sharing ration can be 70-30%.Finally, I would like if you can send to me via email or fax your contact details, name and address, direct telephone numbers/mobile so as to reach you and discuss this matter with you and upon the receipt of your positive response, I will commence negotiation with the Diplomatic Security Company to have the consignment lifted to your very attention in your country of origin. I will secure all Clearance Documents through Diplomatic Authorities, which the original copies will be handed over to you upon the delivery of the consignment. Looking forward to hearing from you and nice to do business with you. I will call you on phone so that we can discuss on this.Thanks and God Bless. Regards.General Mustapha Bello, Gcon,Fsscc,Mni,Ocpce.

2

Für LotR-Fans
Subject: URGENT special arrangement FROM: GRIMHELM WORMTONGUE

DUNLAND

Dear sir and/or madame,

Salutations, I am GRIMHELM WORMTONGUE, The son of late Counsellor Grima Wormtongue of the Kingdom of Rohan.

My father was Chief Counsellor [equivalent to Prime Minister] to late lamented king Theoden of Rohan. In his position my father altogether legally and correctly acquired significant assets throughout Rohan in order to protect the Kingdom from enemy forces within and without.

In the course of lamentable events succeeding, my father was illegally deprived of office and expelled from the Kingdom. Before this he had with foresight already entirely legally deposited the sum of M.500,000,000,000 in gold with the Bank of Gondor (Minas Tirith).

While in exile in the north he was assaulted and murdered by a band of northern pigmies. His family was obliged to seek refuge in northern Dunland among some of our sympathisers.

My father left to me all documents necessary to retrieve the sum of gold aforesaid from the Bank of Gondor (Minas Tirith). However, in the current political circumstances my solicitor believes it unwise for me to attempt to make the trip from Dunland to Minas Tirith, and has recommended that I seek a trustworthy foreign business partner into whose account this money could be tranferred. This appears to be the best option as we are unable to open an account in Dunland. Therefore we are seeking your trustworthy assistance and cooperation.

You will provide information about your account that will enable a deposit to be made in your name. I will contact the Bank of Gondor (Minas Tirith) and inform them that the money is to be placed into your account. Upon completion of the transaction your share of the proceeds will be 15% net following deduction of all transfer fees, that is M.75,000,000,000. If the transaction goes well we also look forward to maintaining you as a profitable business partner for future ventures.

It goes without saying that I can expect your complete confidence and secrecy in keeping this matter under wraps prefatory to completion.

Thank you and ERU bless.

MR. GRIMHELM WORMTONGUE

Reply to Mr. Grimhelm Wormtongue

Subject: Re:Urgent Special Arrangement
To: Grimhelm Wormtongue, Dunland

Dear Mr. Wormtongue,

Thank you for your recent letter. I regret to inform you that your father, the late Grima Wormtongue (and our condolences to you - so sorry about the pigmy thing) had secured the services of the late Steward of Gondor, Denethor, who has recently passed on. Lord Denethor unfortunately had been ill for many months following the death of his eldest and most beloved son, Boromir (who himself met an untimely demise at the hands of brigands and murderers). During his illness, Lord Denethor sent most of the monies your father had to one Dark Lord. If you wish to contact him, you may do so at: The Dark Lord, Tower of Barad-dur, Plains of Gorgoroth, Mordor. Unfortunately I do believe he is away on vacation and no date has been stated for his return.

All that is left in the account at the Bank of Gondor of the original M.500,000,000,000 is M.01. So sorry. If you wish, you may consider investing this small amount into a fund that has a promising future and you may find your money growing over the years to come. I suggest, if I may, the fund called „Osgiliath Rebuilders Inc.“ It has good solid backing from the recently crowned King of Gondor, Lord Aragorn, who, it seems, has many resources at his command, having received many gifts and treasures from Dwarves and Elves during his coronation.

If I can be of further assistance, please do not hesitate to send a courier.

Elbereth!
Faramir, Steward of Gondor

3

Lieber Tiburon,

es handelt sich offensichtlich um die aktualisierte Masche der Nigeriaconnection.
Die Tour ist so alt wie das Internet und das E-Mail, damit wurden schon vor etlichen Jahren reichlich Deppen abgegriffen, selbst schuld.

Ich krieg´ den Müll bis zu 20 mal im Jahr.

Gruß

Bernd

PW:
http://hammerwitze.de/funpics/eigene/foto/eigene03.jpg