Motivation letter_Blick auf Grammatik

[sas_e3851e]

Dear all,

i had written a personal statement for an graduate school application. Can one of you can proof-reading the letter? I would be grateful for that.

Here it comes:

Dear Thesis-Committee,

I hereby wish to state my interest for a place in ____ Graduate School. The lively exchange and expertise within the Graduate School is a most interesting and inspiring challenge for me. Therefore I would like to be an integral part of the international ____-School, to discuss my work and findings with other PhD-students coming from different fields of ____ science. That would give me the possibility to use my knowledge and to learn from colleagues at the same time.

During my whole scientific career I have always been interested in expanding my interdisciplinary and subject-specific skills. A large number of extracurricular activities at various research institutes showed my inquisitive from an early time. Already before my studies, I was very committed in biology, especially in marine biology. I was able to benefit from this characteristic during my university studies, with main focus on ______ and ______. In order to gain experience in international and interdisciplinary teams, I have been working at the ______ for my diploma thesis, so I am used to work with international colleagues and partners. In my diploma thesis I analyzed factors that contribute to a successful culture of ______. The research subjects and methods of this study was planned and executed by myself. In addition I worked actively within self-reliant cooperation with the working groups „______“, "______ "and the „______“. These workings and a large number of extracurricular activities at various scientific research institutes during my studies reflect my intention to participate in an international and interdisciplinary working environment. This is additionally underlined by the election of my PhD-topic, which combines______ sciences with ______ sciences.

With the participating institutes mentioned above I have an excellent working environment in all fields of natural and material science, which were supplemented trough the excellent capacities of your graduate school in an optimal way. The offered graduate program can expand my skills of state-of-the-art investigation methods, developed on the basis of current research results. This school is an extraordinary possibility to get in contact with international scientists from different scientific areas and institutions. As a consequence of that, future contacts and cooperation projects are possible and desirable. In summary, one can say that the combination of the cooperating institutes and ______give me an optimally working and learning environment for my dissertation.

Now, after university degree and my first months as PhD-candidate, I personally consider a scientific education system, like ______, as the best option for reaching my goal to be prepared for future challenges of a global working environment. Considerate in mind what, on the one hand, my interests, qualifications and prospects are, and what, on the other hand the ______-graduate school offers, I am very enthusiastic and interested to undertake this challenge.

Thank you very much for considering my application and I´m looking forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

[klastic_0e7538]

Dear one,

i had written a personal statement for an graduate school

I have written

application. Can one of you can proof-reading the letter?

Could one of you proof-read the letter?

I
would be grateful for that.

Dear Thesis-Committee,

(wollen die wirklich so angeredet werden?)

I hereby wish to state my interest for a place in ____
Graduate School. The lively exchange and expertise within the
Graduate School is a most interesting and inspiring challenge
for me. Therefore I would like to be an integral part of the
international ____-School, to discuss my work and findings
with other PhD-students coming from different fields of ____
science. That would give me the possibility to use my
knowledge and to learn from colleagues at the same time.

During my whole scientific career I have always been
interested in expanding my interdisciplinary and
subject-specific skills. A large number of extracurricular
activities at various research institutes showed my
inquisitive from an early time.

inquisitiveness from early on /
Ich würde aber umformulieren:
From early on, I proofed my inquisitiveness with the large number of ex activ. at var. res. inst.

Already before my studies, I

Even before I started studyin in earnest,

was very committed in biology, especially in marine biology.

I was extremely interested in bio …
(to be committed to something - ist aber hier nicht ganz passend)

I
was able to benefit from this

character trait

during my
university studies,

the main focus of which were ______ and ______. In

order to gain experience in international and
interdisciplinary teams, I have been working at the ______ for
my diploma thesis, so I am used to work

I am used to working

with international
colleagues and partners. In my diploma thesis I analyzed
factors that contribute to a successful culture of ______. The
research subjects and methods of this study was

were

planned and
executed by myself. In addition I worked actively within
self-reliant cooperation with the working groups „______“,

sorry, hier verstehe ich deinen Satz nicht.

"______ "and the „______“. These workings

?? activities? – workings geht nicht,

and a large number
of extracurricular activities

These and a large number of other extracur. activities (vielleicht)

at various scientific research
institutes during my studies

erst Platz:
activities during my studies at var. scie. res. institutes

reflect my intention

intentions (oder reflects my intention, aber Plural klingt besser)

to
participate in an international and interdisciplinary working
environment. This is additionally underlined by the election
of my PhD-topic, which combines______ sciences with ______
sciences.

election = politische Wahl
The choice of my PhD topic, combining ____ with ________ sciences, emphasises this.

With the participating institutes mentioned above I have an
excellent working environment in all fields of natural and
material science, which were supplemented trough the excellent
capacities of your graduate school in an optimal way.

hier stimmen die Zeiten nicht
… above, I could find an exce. wor. environement …
supplemented in the best possible way with the excell. capacities* of your graduate school.
capacities = ?Kapazitäten? was meinst du?

The
offered graduate program

The graduate program on offer

can expand my skills of
state-of-the-art investigation methods, developed on the basis
of current research results. This school is an extraordinary
possibility

This school would offer me an extra… possibility

to get in contact with international scientists
from different scientific areas and institutions. As a
consequence of that,

As a result,

future contacts and cooperation projects
are possible and desirable.

could be desirable, and of course, possible.

In summary,

To sum up,

one can say that the

(man-Sätze nicht als „one“ übersetzen, eher vermeiden)
To sum up, the fusion*

cooperating institutes and ______give me an

would give me

an optimally working

optimal working and learning environment for my

dissertation.

*combination ist möglich, aber empfinde ich als nicht passend:
je nachdem wie es läuft wären: fusion, cooperation, assembly, alliance möglich

Now, after university degree

after graduating

and my first months as
PhD-candidate, I personally consider a scientific education
system, like ______, as the best option for reaching my goal
to be prepared for future challenges of a global working
environment.

challenges in a global working environment.

Considerate in mind what,

Considering

on the one hand my

interests, qualifications and prospects, and on the
other hand the oppertunities offered by ______-graduate school

I am very
enthusiastic and interested to undertake

to accept

this challenge.

Thank you very much for considering my application and I´m

I am (schriftlich immer)

looking forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

likewise,
Elke

[sin_f3a5e8]

OT
Hi Ekel

I guess you were in a wee bit of a hurry while correcting the letter. As the person did not bother to thank you, I certainly won’t bother to correct any typos

The w b

[klastic_0e7538]

Hi Siân,

I guess you were in a wee bit of a hurry while correcting the
letter.

Could be.

As the person did not bother to thank you, I certainly
won’t bother to correct any typos

It was probably the last of these letters I bothered with.

Cheers,
Elke